George and Hilly

GEORGE: I do want to go—I just don’t want to get shingles again. I’m also kind of terrified to go to Jamaica, because I have visions of being killed or taken hostage by gangs with machetes and voodoo. Hilly doesn’t want to go, because this friend has been with his fiancée for less time than we’ve been together, so she has issues: “We’ve been together longer!” But from a medical standpoint, after having gotten shingles, would you advise me against going?

HILLY: Especially because of the sun.

DR. SELMAN: The sun was probably the most likely trigger of the shingles. Why would you expose yourself to a place with strong sun again? You really probably shouldn’t go. I think it would be a big mistake. O.K., so you need the Ambien? You want some more Vicodin?

HILLY: Do you have Prozac samples?

DR. SELMAN: They stopped sampling years ago!

GEORGE: Viagra?

DR. SELMAN: Sure. These are my last 25 milligrams of Seroquels. Start out with this. Take one of these tonight. And these are 100’s; these are the strong ones. Take half of one of these—or you can go as high as a whole one.

GEORGE: And even though I have trouble breathing through my nose, I’ll be O.K.?

DR. SELMAN: You’ll be O.K.

GEORGE: Why it is better than Ambien?

DR. SELMAN: It’s very different than Ambien. It’s good for sleep. Here are some Viagras.

GEORGE: Do these Seroquels have a hangover deal?

DR. SELMAN: Well, you’ll have to try and find out.

[Postscript: That night, GEORGE looks up Seroquel and finds out it’s prescribed for sleeping disorders—but seems to have been designed mainly for people with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. This concerns him, but HILLY tells him to go ahead and give it a shot. He takes the pill. One hour later, GEORGE feels like a sledgehammer is pounding at his head. This continues for five hours. Early the next morning, HILLY is getting ready to leave for Newport for the weekend. She checks on GEORGE. His mouth is open wide and his stare is blank. Does he want a bagel? she asks him. He can’t speak. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves.]

[To be continued]

George and Hilly