THE BIG AND DRAFTY Cipriani 42nd Street swabs down its bathrooms for Joan Jedell, the publisher and editor in chief of The Hampton Sheet magazine, and her cronies as they are honored at the United Cerebral Palsy of New York City’s “Women Who Care” Luncheon. Honorary chair is Cathleen Black, president of Hearst Magazines, and there will be special performances by Lili Taylor (we hope she sings “Joe Lies”), choreographer Twyla Tharp (still smarting from her Dylan debacle) and Tom Arnold (well, that’s swell). Meanwhile, the “Links for Life” Gala, at Capitale on the Bowery, benefits bone-marrow foundations. Rihanna and DMC will perform, plus cranky actor Charles Grodin, lanky actress Sarah Jessica Parker and spanky dress designer Vera Wang will be in attendance. Further north, there’s an event that almost (almost!) seems too good to be true: Evelyn and Leonard Lauder, Merryl and James Tisch, and Daryl and Steve Roth speak about being part of a power couple. They’ll cover “pillow talk” (“Would ya look at that, sweetie, Tim Russert’s getting even fatter … ”) and other gripping tales of marriage …. Speaking of everyone’s favorite power couple, don’t you think it’s worth electing Hillary President just to see poor Bill emerging from the White House with a black eye and his hangdog “Awww, baby, she didn’t mean anything to me!” face every two months or so?
[United Cerebral Palsy of New York City and Women Who Care Luncheon, Cipriani 42nd Street, www.ucpnyc.org; Links for Life Gala, Capitale, 130 Bowery, 6:30 p.m., www.dkmsamericas.org; Power Couples, 92nd Street Y, 1395 Lexington Avenue, www.92y.org]