WEE kitties not included! We’ve gotten the message loud and clear: Americans are fat (and thoughtless) little piggies. But did you know that our pets are, too? Apparently, there are 48 million overweight or obese cats and dogs. That puppy might look pretty cute all pudged up, but as we’ve learned, “five extra pounds on a medium-size breed like a beagle is the equivalent of nearly 25 pounds on an average woman.” No thank you! Today, the Hill’s PetFit Mobile Tour will be stopping by our fair city to help local pet owners get their precious fatties thin. Isn’t life grand? Speaking of body-image disorder, the lasses at Self magazine will be hosting their annual workout in Central Park today. Thousands (!) are expected to experience “the latest fitness trends” (Stripilates?). Watch out for ducks. Seriously.
[Hill’s PetFit Mobil Tour, 23rd Street at the Hudson River, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., www.hillspet.com; Self magazine’s workout in the park, Central Park at Rumsey Playfield, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.; www.selfworkoutinthepark.com.]