Astrologers Agree: Obama Faces Machiavellian Enemy

He will be threatened for only a brief period, four days, in February, when a rare solar eclipse will be ascending in the heavens. The problem: that’s when Super Duper Tuesday—the mega-primary day in which as many as 20 states will be selecting their Democratic nominees—happens.

As cosmic forecaster Dulce Bell-Bulley put it during an interview with The Observer when she stumbled upon this fact, “Wait—no! Oh, my God!”

“That’s very significant,” explained the British-accented Ms. Bell-Bulley, who serves New York clients and has written in publications about topics such as the astrology of the first Iraq election. “It won’t just be which Democrat and which Republican is decided then. In the hearts of the people, it will be which president.”

Wilma Carroll, another well-known astrologer who studied under a Tibetan monk years ago and has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman and FOX News—and who correctly predicted the 2000 election on Live with Regis—was comparing all the candidates to the eclipse and noting minor potential impacts when she turned to Mr. Obama.

“Hmm … 17 degrees right opposite everything in that mid-heaven,” Ms. Carroll mumbled. Then she gasped. “This hits him really hard!” she said. “It’s down at the bottom of his chart and opposes all of his planets in his 10th house of career. Opposes a lot of them—opposes his sun, Uranus, phew, it’s like knocking the wind out of someone. It can really be frightening to him.”

But if he plays it right, Mr. Obama could also benefit from the sudden influx of cosmic energy. Since the eclipse hits the U.S. chart, as well—derived from Mr. O’Reilly’s increasingly popular view that the United States was born at 2:21 p.m. on July 4, 1776, when John Hancock (might have) signed his name to the Declaration of Independence—perhaps the electorate might be ready to hit that reset button, too.

Either way, according to these readings, Mr. Obama had better brace himself. Or hire an astrologer to run his schedule, as it later emerged that former President Ronald Reagan did for at least six years following the attempt on his life. (Or, for that matter, hold seances with Abraham Lincoln, as Mrs. Clinton was reported by Bob Woodward to have done—a story that the Clintons vociferously denied—in the early, trying years of her husband’s presidency.)

Mr. Obama’s press office in Chicago said they did not know his time of birth, nor where the information might be obtained. And Hawaii, by law, keeps birth certificates sealed.

Mrs. Carroll, for one, is simply so overwhelmed by the ambiguous writings in the sky that she is resorting to her usually clairvoyant “gut feeling” for the time being.

“I just feel Giuliani so strongly,” she said. “You have no idea.”

Astrologers Agree: Obama Faces Machiavellian Enemy