Losing Weight, Gaining a Manuscript

I spoke to Steve Currey, president of the unique writers’ retreat, Inkwell Acres.

Sparrow: What is the concept of Inkwell Acres?

Mr. Currey: Many people have an unfinished novel in their top drawer. Similarly, many folks dream of losing that extra weight. Now, for the first time, you can pursue both goals at once. Situated on 24 acres in the Poconos with scenic vistas and a rushing stream, Inkwell Acres offers writing facilities plus a certified weight-loss program. “Turn your fat into fiction; turn those pounds into poems” is our motto.

Sparrow: You provide all the meals, I assume?

Mr. Currey: Yes, we have a full-time chef, and also a nutritionist on staff. We serve three filling meals a day.

Sparrow: Does dieting help one write?

Mr. Currey: Absolutely. As you shed weight, you discover inner parts of yourself. In fact, we say: “Dieting is writing.” Many people find that their “writer’s block” was that extra 20 pounds.

Sparrow: Does Inkwell Acres include exercise facilities?

Mr. Currey: We have yoga, aerobics and Ping-Pong. Also, there are lovely nature trails.

Sparrow: The name “Inkwell Acres” suggests that you sit on stools, writing with quill pens.

Mr. Currey: I’m glad you brought that up. We have state-of-the-art computers, equipped with the finest hard-drive thesauruses and rhyming dictionaries. But we do furnish quill pens and inkwells, for those who prefer rustic writing.

Sparrow: Have you learned secrets for inspiring writers in your years at Inkwell Acres?

Mr. Currey: At first, we told the household staff to kill spiders. That was a mistake. All writers love a spider in their room. Losing Weight, Gaining a Manuscript