What Has Two Wheels, Wears Seersucker And Makes a Sucker of Me? A Bicycle Boy

It can also imply a certain cheapness. One woman, an assistant editor at a glossy men’s magazine, remembered a date she had with a Bicycle Boy she met at a book signing. After chatting her up, the Bicycle Boy made a date to meet her at a nice steakhouse on the Upper West Side. He showed up, late, on his bike (she was waiting outside, nervously smoking cigarettes), then, after they’d sat down and looked at the menu, he said, “Look, do you mind? I’ve just realized I’m really in the mood for pizza. You don’t care do you?” He stood up.

“But don’t we have to…” she said, glancing at the waitress. He grabbed her and hustled her out. “All you had were a few sips of water. I didn’t even touch mine. They can’t charge you for that.”

They went back to her house and ate pizza, and then he made his move. They saw each other a few times after that, but every time, he wanted to come to her house at 10 at night and eat takeout food. She finally ditched him and went out with a banker.

The Crotch Problem

Bicycle Boys often make the mistake of trying to turn their girlfriends into Bicycle Girls. Marguerite, a woman who grew up on Fifth Avenue and now works as an interior designer, actually married a Bicycle Boy. “We both rode bikes,” she said, “so at first it wasn’t a problem. But I noticed something was kind of wrong when he gave me a bicycle seat for my birthday. Then, for Christmas, he gave me a bike rack to put on the car. When we got divorced, he took the bike rack back and kept it for himself. Can you believe that?”

“Boys on bikes? God, no,” said Karen, a novelist. “Can you imagine what a stinky crotch they have? No, thank you. I’ve been mowed down too many times by men on bikes. They’re all kamikaze selfish pricks. If they have sex the way they ride their bikes, thank you, but speed is not important.”

“Women don’t think riding a bike is sexy,” said Mr. Brown. “They think it’s infantile. But at some point, you decide that you can’t go through life giving women a false impression of who you are.”


Candace Bushnell began Sex and the City as a column in The New York Observer in 1994; it subsequently became a book and a series on HBO. She is also the author of Four Blondes, Trading Up and Lipstick Jungle, which is being filmed as a pilot for NBC starring Brooke Shields. Ms. Bushnell is also the host of Sex, Success and Sensibility, a live weekly talk show on Sirius Satellite Radio. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, New York City Ballet principal dancer Charles Askegard.


What Has Two Wheels, Wears Seersucker And Makes a Sucker of Me? A Bicycle Boy