Further proof that New York has lost all claims to being a sensible city: Pet Fashion Week—yes, you read that right—which is basically emaciated, bejeweled Chihuahuas rather than emaciated, bejeweled Russian hookers … He-llo! Tonight is the kickoff party, and we can only hope for cats-mopolitans and doggatinis (it should be some crowd, know what we’re sayin’?). Later in the evening, former Simpsons writer Dana Gould yucks it up at Comix. “When I was a young man and first started headlining clubs,” Mr. Gould said, “my act was about anger and frustration. Now I’m married with two kids, and my act is about anger and frustration. My kids are at the age where I might as well have apes. I thought I hated myself—and then I met the little versions of me!” Stop! We asked him which was the best joke he wrote for The Simpsons. “There’s a joke I pitched that didn’t get on the show,” he said (ain’t that the way, honey). “They’re at a yard sale and Dr. Nick, the low-rent doctor, is looking at the book Our Bodies, Our Selves. And he says ‘That woman has a baby coming out of her abortion hole!’” The only thing scarier than a comedy club is the mysteriously underpublicized Nicole Kidman/Daniel Craig extraterrestrial horror flick, The Invasion, opening tonight. What’s with Ms. K and the horror—didn’t she have enough creepy being married to Chompers? Come into the light, Nicole!