Are You Kidman Me? Tonight brings us the Fete de Swifty, raising money for domestic violence victims (how about Britney’s kids?). Grand doyenne of gossip, Liz Smith, serves on the committee, as well as society watcher David Patrick Columbia, Swifty’s co-owner Robert Caravaggi and real estate mini-mogul Rob Speyer. The luminous and wrinkle-free Nicole Kidman and Yankees man Joe Torre are the honorary chairs—now that would be a love affair we’d pay cash money to witness! Expect loads of benefit-loving elbow-rubbing to take place on the Upper East Side. Not too far away, matchmaker Janis Spindel hauls in the desperados for a “What Men Want—and Women Want to Know” talk at the 92nd Street Y, to “disclose what men are really thinking.” Honey, if you could truly tell us that, we’d buy you your very own elephant.