The Horror, The Horror … Lessons learned this week: If fall fashion means 500 bucks for high-heeled boots, we’ll welcome back flip-flops; Al Gore and Alec Baldwin are beginning to turn into the same fat guy (and we weirdly keep liking him … er, them … more and more); judging by her blitzkrieg of TV appearances last Sunday, Hillary Rodham Clinton’s campaign strategy is simply to talk the country into mute, pained submission with that twangy, brain-hurting voice (it seems now we all get to experience what Bill has for the past 30 years; the guy deserves a medal!); and with all of the good TV coming back on the air this week, we’re feeling our winter hibernation coming on early. Okay! For people not couch-bound, there’s plenty to choose from out there on the increasingly chilly streets. There’s a bash for South African wine (burp!) in Nolita and they’re callin’ it “Dinner in the Dark” and they’re saying it will be held in utter darkness—watch those roving hands, Mrs. Roosevelt! Brooke Shields (who we keep liking more, somehow, as she gets older) is due to attend. Next! The View, which has officially bored us to death with their petty staffing issues, has kept Joy Behar around, which is good because she’s actually occasionally funny. Ms. Behar will be at the Barnes & Noble on Union Square to talk and sign copies of When You Need a Lift. And saving the best for last, just when you thought you couldn’t go another day without seeing a German rock band from the 1980s, Scorpions make their way to the Beacon Theater. Can they spend their whole set singing “Rock You Like a Hurricane”? We sure hope so.
[Sebeka Wines of South Africa’s “Dinner in the Dark,” Public Restaurant, 210 Elizabeth Street, 8 p.m., by invitation only; Joy Behar at Barnes & Noble, Union Square, 33 East 17th Street, 7 p.m., www.barnesandnoble.com; Scorpions, Beacon Theatre, 2124 Broadway, www.thegarden.com]