Wiccan chicks are restless as Halloween is just five nights away. All we know is, Halloween is scary if you have children, downright frightening if you don’t. First up, “Spook-tacular” at the West Side YMCA, featuring “pumpkin bowling,” face-painting, and, ominously, “open swim.” Later, Hudson River Park tries to lure you to a “Pier of Fear!” Hmmm, let’s skip that one and get right to reality-TV star Cisco Adler’s “Mali-BOO Halloween Party,” inspired by, you guessed it, Malibu (for the last time, Californians, we do not envy your tanness or your beaches!). We called up Mr. Adler, cruelly discarded by homegrown New Yorker Mischa Barton some time ago, to find out what he has in mind. “I promise wildness!” he enthused in trademark Southern California-meets-Birmingham, Alabama, drawl. “I’m going to be Superman. And Schwayze”—an aspiring ‘artist’ currently under his tutelage—“is going to be a cross-dressing Storm.” Mr. Adler paused. “Actually, we were thinking we’d go as boxers from the Basquiat/Warhol photo. You know, when in Rome …” (P.S.: This is New York, but never mind.) The venue, he said, is “some mysterious haunted loft. I know someone died there a long time ago. It’s going to be a veritable circus!” Sir, we prefer our freaks old-style.
[Spook-tacular at the West Side YMCA, 5 West 63rd Street, 3 p.m. to 6 p.m., 212-875-4218; Hudson River Park’s Pier of Fear, entrance at 14th Street and West Side Highway, 12 p.m. to 9 p.m., 212-627-2020; Mali-BOO Halloween Party, 101 Sixth Avenue, 9 p.m., 212.255.4233]