Put those electric razors back in their chargers, writers: it looks like you’re back to work on Wednesday. (Better yet, shave today, so when you report you’ll have just the right amount of writerly stubble.) Showrunners, ever the go-getters, will be in the office today, attempting to save their charges’ shortened seasons. Miraculously, TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello has a pretty comprehensive list of what the future holds for your favorite shows. (The man knows how to work a beat!) Unfortunately, the earliest anything is going to return is April, with the exception of Saturday Night Live, which could return as early as Feb. 16. In the meantime, here’s what passes for TV.
Bravo celebrates itself with a show dedicated to its 20 “most outrageous” moments [10 p.m.]. The show exerts an intriguing push-pull, with the popularity of Top Chef and Project Runway countervailing clips from shows starring Kathy Griffin and Bobby Brown. What to do? Record and fast-forward when necessary.
Speaking of reality shows of dubious notorieties, Flavor of Love, starring Public Enemy’s Flava Flav, returns for its third season [VH1, 9 p.m.]. Can’t wait for this year’s spin-off!
Meanwhile, the E! Entertainment network travels across the pond to report “live” from the BAFTA Awards red carpet in what amounts to a test run for the Oscars [E!, 9 p.m.]. And by “live,” they of course mean pre-recorded and edited for maximum Ryan Seacrest awesomitude.
As if more proof were needed that dog people are crazy, The New York Times had to go and run this article, “Have You Seen This Dog? Only With Telepathy,” in advance of this year’s Westminster Kennel Dog Show. In 2006, Vivi, a show whippet (looks like a more muscular, handsomer greyhound), got loose on the JFK tarmac and was never recovered. Now, psychics—yes, it’s plural—are saying that the dog is in Brooklyn with friends, food and … puppies on the way! Awwww, they’re so crazy. If you’re crazy, too—about dogs, that is—catch the last night of the show [USA, 8 p.m.], when they’ll crown (collar?) Best in Show.
It’s never been quite clear exactly what the premise of Big Brother is. This is probably because the show’s title explained little—aside from the obvious fact that as a reality TV series, the contestants would be constantly videotaped. Somebody must be watching, however, as the show is set to enter its ninth season tonight [CBS, 9 p.m.]. Will that somebody stay tuned when it takes on American Idol [Fox, 8 p.m.]? Um, highly doubtful. Last week, Fox broke all sorts of records with an unusually exciting Super Bowl and Idol, which continues to grow stronger after its slow start (well, comparatively slow). Basically, everyone is just waiting for this juggernaut to run its course, like variety shows in the ’60s and ’70s.
New York City’s own the Whitest Kids U Know kicked off its second season on Sunday, but if you didn’t get around to it, just plumb forgot about it or didn’t even know the show existed, well IFC is replaying it at 8:30 p.m. tonight—just before Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me [9 p.m.], a k a the scariest movie ever (though I don’t know anyone who was older than 12 when they saw it). Only David Lynch could make the name Bob sinister.
Meanwhile, Idol whittles its numbers down to 24 [Fox, 8 p.m.], as Big Brother [CBS, 8 p.m.] continues to buzz about like a fly, only annoying those who choose to pay attention to it.
Not sure what to say about this really, but anecdotal evidence (several friends, that is, acting independently of one another!) suggests that people are actually watching My Big Redneck Wedding [CMT, 8 p.m.]. Although the show invokes a certain Jeff Foxworthy stand-up routine, I’m going to advise giving this one the benefit of the doubt, especially since there’s little else to watch on Thursdays at 8 anyway. One wedding has a shotgun motif (natch), one involves mud wrestling. Tonight, CMT dedicates a solid two-hour block to the show, doing its part to heal that red-state, blue-state divide.
For a more positive, dignified look at America, Fox broadcasts the NAACP Image Awards [8 p.m.]. D.L. Hughley hosts. Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin will receive quasi lifetime achievement awards. Maybe a little duet?
Of course, there’s always Lost [ABC, 9 p.m.]. Did I mention how good it is to have that show back?
Celine Dion speaks with an accent, but doesn’t sing with one. Why? Study her creepily-named concert, “That’s Just the Woman in Me,” which airs tonight [CBS, 9 p.m.].