Wednesday, March 12th

Last night we called the White House at 3 a.m.—and we got voice mail! That is so frustrating! But enough about politics—with an increasingly unhinged Hillary Clinton singing John McCain’s praises all over the country, Democrats surely have nothing to worry about, right? So let’s talk about lipstick! Shamed and repentant former Miss America Vanessa Williams hosts the March of Dimes’ Million Dollar Beauty Ball, joined by Vera Wang, designer of the wedding dress we’ll wear on the off chance some poor sap (no really, he has to be poor) suddenly decides he wants to wake up next to us every day for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, the Museum of the City of New York hosts a similarly modest shindig, welcoming scions of America’s erstwhile ruling class to its Director’s Council Winter Ball, co-chaired by people named Allison Rockefeller and Andrew Roosevelt and surely aiming to raise money for something important. Which brings us to those irrepressible pessimists at the 92nd Street Y, who are making us feel frivolous again with a screening of the Oscar-nominated documentary No End in Sight: The American Occupation of Iraq,” after which director Charles Ferguson will discuss occupation-related topics with government types. (Ladies, could this be the perfect place to wear that Marc Jacobs Hillary tee you just bought for $103 on eBay?)

[March of Dimes 33rd Annual Million Dollar Beauty Ball, Cipriani 42nd Street, 6 p.m., 212-353-1143; Director’s Council Winter Ball, Museum of the City of New York, 7:30 p.m., 212-534-1672; No End in Sight screening, Kaufmann Concert Hall, Lexington Avenue at 92nd Street, 7:15 p.m., 212-415-5500]

Wednesday, March 12th