Gurley’s Streaming Consciousness: Take Judy Back, Mucinex Rocks—Some B12-Induced Emails I’d Like to Take Back

Was in the presence of a stunning Latina last night. Staring at her shoulders and back. Also met Fiona Apple. She’s either shy or was averting her eyes from the sight of me, couldn’t tell.

Dude, how many days did you wait until you fired up some porn when you got your HDTV? Tempted to now, but Hilly’s in a Really Bad Mood.

Did I already mention that my advice for Wes Anderson would be to rent Gallipoli before he steals another two hours from my life? See, it’s not only visually beautiful, it’s spiritual, too. Has something to say. Unlike the Darjeeling Limited which looks good here and there but sucks donkey balls.

I’d almost be disappointed if they’re weren’t a lot of racist crackers at NASCAR races in scary ass parts of the South.

You know, you could go purchase some Metamucil of your own right now, much as I’d like to spot ya some of mine.

Damn. Hate having to remember me dancing the night before. Played air guitar and air drums. Feel like a jackass now.

At New York Athletic Club earlier, in this little private room next to the Colonial Room. Think you not only have to be a member but a war veteran to go in there. In the corner by the card table they got pictures of maybe 40 vets on one wall and on the other, a big display of Nazi memorabilia, swastikas—stuff taken from German soldiers, but still weird. No plaque explaining what’s up.

Sure I’d bone Samantha Power if she walked into my room right now with a bong and a fistful of Viagra. Probably bone just about anyone named Samantha.

Hey—no real reason to write “El Ay.” Save yourself some time by writing “L.A.” or even better, “LA.”

Interviewed a Mistress Brie once. Told me she took a dump on a famous rock star at Pandora’s Box. Off the record statute expires after ten years with that kinda stuff.

I once told Sloane right after a normal chat one night that she made me pre-ejaculate in my pants. Other than that, no conflict of interest.

Here’s my attitude since you asked: women get scared and lonely, have needs, issues, feel abandoned and stuff. Daddy and so on. So be nice to em, give em a hug, tell em it’s okay, cheer em up. Sure, fuck with their minds a little—they like it—but then later on give em a nice back massage.

Thinking about changing my name to Firefox. Mozilla Firefox.

Dude, I can’t find Nat’l Geographic Channel.

Boulder sucks. Everyone is perfect there. Perfect hippies, everyone’s cool and groovy and is in great outdoor shape. Hey, we’re going rock climbing, you in? Fuck you, Tripp. And fuck you Sandy, pseudo-communist. Those pics say it all. No way you get to score either of those chicks with the innertubes. Sure, they’ll dance with you at the String Cheese show, but you’ll get nada. Now go whip one up in your tent.

You’re a scallops guy if they’re done right. Like saying you’re not a chocolate chunk or olives guy. But you will eat crabs which are like giant bugs.

Basically you guys have gotten to the point where you can’t live without music. You’re addicts. No music and you’re all sad. I want my music, where’s my music, oh I need my music, my precious music.

Sorry, nothing gay about liking Judy Garland. She’s for everyone. Was James Mason or Gene Kelly gay for being in movies with her? No. Were Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin gay for singing with her? She was a member of the Rat Pack. Takin’ her back from the gays.

Can’t stop watching this. Pretty crazy at the end when they break out the rubberbands:

I think I’d like to ban the use of “mmm-kay” and “for realsy”.

Sick of these puritans, all this schadenfreude. Spitzer was tired of boning his wife or vice versa, he was stressed, needed some, got some—what’s the big deal? What kind of country are we living in? If you had his hectic schedule wouldn’t you like a Penthouse Pet to swing by your hotel room once a month, pay her a grando? For that he has to step down? He got a little addicted to really good quality vagina.

Never knew Ted Turner was that insane. He’s on Charlie Rose.

Agree with you she has aura of 70’s anchor slut. Not so sure she has a big old hairy bush and wears see through underwear. But I’m with you on never listening to a single thing she says, which is good because she’s on CNN. Wonder why she’s got that banana tattoed on her ankle. Any theories?

Feel pretty wise and think I got a solid grasp of reality, good “feel for the moment,” good at reading people’s minds, pretty good at Jeopardy!—but worry I got “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing” going on.

Wait. You think Clinton is a sex addict cause he fucks anything that moves but Spitzer isn’t cause he plans ahead? You may be right, but I think they both got the “me need pussy now” trance.

Woke up this morning feeling GREAT. Practically skipping around the pad. Know why? B12 patch. They cost $29 now.

Almost finished with the regular classic big container of Metamucil which I purchased by accident. Very psyched cause now I can get some Orange Flave. Sure does work too. Whooooshhhh! No grunting.

Dexys were great? Question: When, how did all you come to rediscover Dexys Midnight Runners? Don’t tell me you were saying this 10-20 years ago, cause I never heard you ever even mention the band. What started this? Smell a rat.

Gurley’s Streaming Consciousness: Take Judy Back, Mucinex Rocks—Some B12-Induced Emails I’d Like to Take Back