Wednesday, April 16th

Happy Spring, old thing! Here’s a shockerooni: We actually smiled at someone on the subway this morning—well hellloooo, sun-induced serotonin!—and it was better than an hour of therapy followed by a brisk Swedish massage. Better enjoy yourselves, New York, before that perky Pope Benedict XVI arrives to clog the streets with security fellows in pointy hats and remind us that all we’re going to hell! (He’ll be staying, apparently, on East 72nd Street, home to nice, discreet gays with small yappy dogs.) And apparently he plans to visit the Jews at one of their synagogues on East 67th Street. (How big of you, sir! We’ve been meaning to visit them ourselves!) Alas, he will narrowly miss slightly soiled Catholic Rudy Giuliani, who’s acting as Honorary Chair of the Violet Ball at Lincoln Center, a glitzy gala benefitting N.Y.U. Medical Center, which could use some spiffing up, frankly. The actual “Chairman” will be bouncy bald billionaire Ronald Perelman, owner of the most happenin’ yacht on the Mediterranean; and promised attendees include those crazy star-crossed lovers Jack and Suzy Welch, plus designer Vera Wang. (Where’s Gina Gershon when you need her?) Meanwhile, ingenue actresses Emmy Rossum, Eva Amurri (Susan Sarandon spawn) and Joy Bryant scrub off the remains of their chemical peels, put on their best chiffon finery and swoosh over to the New Yorkers for Children New Years in April. Theme: “A Fool’s Fete”—hey, they said it, not us! Also expected: models Karolina Kurkova and Maggie Rizer, rapper-actor Andre Benjamin, designer Georgina Chapman and movie mogul Harvey Weinstein—there is some concern he may eat the models. … The whole shebang will be “chaired” by international fashionista Margherita Maccapani Missoni and charity-circuit regulars Coralie Charriol Paul, Vanessa Weiner von Bismark and Stephanie Winston Wolkoff. Yes, it seems to be now required that all glossy-haired socialite dopes have three names. …

[The Violet Ball, the Tent at Lincoln Center, 6 p.m., 212-404-3654; “New Year’s in April: A Fool’s Fete 2008,” Mandarin Oriental, 80 Columbus Circle, 7:30 p.m., 212-678-0231]

Wednesday, April 16th