Wednesday, April 23rd

It’s 3 a.m. and we know we’re not sleeping so soundly after Hillary Clinton said last week in the ABC debate that, if elected president, she’d commit the United States to launching an attack of “massive retaliation” against Iran if it attacked Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or the United Arab Emirates. Errrr … ummm … yikes? Didn’t we go through all that with Bushes I and II? Help! Meanwhile, locally, that bonehead Shelly Silver torpedoed congestion pricing, thereby condemning New York City to decades of clogged streets, blocked boxes and escalating pollution. Luckily, the Tribeca Film Festival premieres Baby Mama just in time, a Tina Fey-Amy Poehler comedy about a woman who never finds love but does find a surrogate mother! Later, the fashionistas flock (flap, flap, flap!) to a Marchesa fashion-show fund-raiser for St Jude’s Children’s Hospital called “A Night of a Thousand Lights,” hosted by über-stylist Phillip Bloch along with Keren Craig and bride-of-Weinstein Georgina Chapman. Expect a glammy, clammy haul of boldface names including actress Diane Kruger, models Molly Sims and Iman, beleaguered socialite striver Olivia Palermo and indefatigable party gals Fabiola Beracasa and Lydia Hearst. Meanwhile, slavery is all too alive and well in the world, and serious people gather at the National Arts Club to hear from Benjamin Skinner’s A Crime So Monstrous: Face to Face With Modern-day Slavery. Expected are Clinton pal Richard Holbrooke and his stepdaughter, Elizabeth Jennings (daughter of Peter; the tangled webs we weave!), not to mention flacks Ken Sunshine and Shawn Sachs. Finally, here’s a shocker: Lydia Hearst beau Joe Barney, a recent Duke grad who met the comely heiress at their five-year high-school reunion, is a budding rock star! Tonight, he plays his first New York show ever at the Bitter End. “I’d say it’s somewhere between John Mayer and Radiohead,” said Mr. Barney. About Lydia: “She’s probably my biggest fan. She’s extremely supportive and wonderful.” Also: “She’s one of the smartest girls I’ve ever met. I think that’s the most impressive thing about her.”

[Baby Mama premiere, Ziegfeld Theatre, 7:30 p.m., www.tribecafilmfestival.org; “A Night of a Thousand Lights,” Roseland Ballroom, 239 West 52nd Street, 7 p.m., 212-239-3239; A Crime So Monstrous book party, National Arts Club, 15 Gramercy Park South, 6 p.m., rsvp@acrimesomonstrous.com; Joe Barney at the Bitter End, 147 Bleecker Street, 9 p.m.]

Wednesday, April 23rd