Thursday, May 29th

Golf with pink Floyd! Don’t ship your gown out to East Hampton just yet! The goodly ladies of the Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center have scheduled their first Spring Ball so far into spring that it’s almost summer, and have enlisted girl-power songstress Natasha Bedingfield. Chairs and vice chairs include socialites Muffie Potter Aston, Jennifer Creel and Dayassi Olarte de Kanavos—who sounds like a Greek-shipping-heiress character on Gossip Girl, right?—not to mention designer Tory Burch, and The Manny author Holly Peterson. Moneyed duos David and Julia Koch and Stephen and Christine Schwarzman are also expected to attend. Society president Leslie Jones informed us that aside from Ms. Bedingfield, the evening will feature four “priceless” items being auctioned off by Sothebys’ Jamie Niven. “The first item is four VIP tickets and backstage passes to the American Idol Live concert in August,” she said. “It’s a chance to meet and greet the 2008 American Idol contest winner.” Swoon! You can also bid to “walk the red carpet with Duran Duran; they’re playing in Central Park.” Not to mention “a helicopter out of New York City to Shinnecock or National Golf Club to play golf with Roger Waters of Pink Floyd and Ray Floyd, who won the U.S. Open at Shinnecock … Jamie Niven believes that will go for a lot of money.” (Playing golf with Pink Floyd’s Mr. Waters sounds like something someone hallucinated circa 1973!) Later, in news of avant-garde theater types, Witness Relocation—the theater troupe, not the government program for traitorous mobsters—stages Vicious Dogs on Premises at St. Mark’s Church. Artistic director Dan Safer said that this bit of theater “basically deals with choice overload theory.” Which is “when you have way too many choices and that causes stress. It’s like looking for a bar in the East Village.” Mr. Safer said the play is about the training of fighting dogs; he looked to the case of disgraced footballer Michael Vick. “A lot of it is about conditioning,” he said, adding that “pit bulls are really loving by nature.” Basically, “I’m fascinated by violent people. … It’s all situational. I start with the supposition that I’m not a violent person, but if I came home and someone was attacking my girlfriend, I would kill them.” Oh, this Mr. Safer sounds hot!

[Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center 2008 Spring Ball, Plaza Hotel, 768 Fifth Avenue, 7 p.m., 212-639-7972; Vicious Dogs on Premises, St. Mark’s Church, 131 East 10th Street, 8 p.m., 212-352-3101]

Thursday, May 29th