Wednesday, May 21st

Help! Did we drink too much and wake up smack in the middle of our nerdy girlhood? The New Kids on the Block and 90210 are back, reminding us that we had no friends in third grade and weren’t allowed to watch television. Not a fresh enough hell for you, sailor boy? Add The Real World: Brooklyn, getting under way this summer. … (Not that we wouldn’t still welcome a remake of Saved by the Bell!) Meanwhile, organic-farmstand-chic overtakes the streets as the ladies are wearing barn boots and knee socks to and from their yoga classes. (Ladies, please, look out the window: this is New York City, not Iowa.) Even less surprising than the MTV crews overtaking Bedford Avenue is the news that gays can now marry in California, whoop-de-doo, which we suppose means an additional hundreds of thousands of people will get married and settle down before we do. Hooray? In more good news, it turns out the “World’s Largest Dog House,” at 480 square feet, is approximately twice the size of our apartment. You can see it today—and lick its exterior made of Milk-Bones—in the peaceful slumbering neighborhood of Times Square. Woof! Later, if you’re like us and even the idea of a James Frey “comeback” makes your floating rib hurt, then pay a visit to Augusten Burroughs as he reads from his book about his very scary dad, A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father, at the Bryant Park Reading Room—which, incidentally, was started during the Great Depression to give out-of-work men something to do during the day! (This was before Guitar Hero.) And if the beast in you is hungry, Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz hosts an evening reading of short plays about “Ex-Lovers” by members of the New York Playwrights Lab—which, incidentally, his father founded. “I’m 41, and my whole life I’ve been going to see his plays,” said Mr. Horovitz of his father, Israel Horovitz. The lab is “just all these writers, and they keep in touch and they work every week; it’s friends together being creative. It’s reminiscent of writers’ salons and shit. People don’t really seem to do that anymore. It’s cool.” Mr. Horovitz said that he, too, is a lover of the theater. “I forcibly inherited that from my dad. It was thrust upon me as a child.” Not that his father wasn’t supportive of his music career: “Obviously, he’s more happy now, since I’ve been making a living at it, rather than cutting school and not making a living.”

[Milk-Bone Celebrates 100th Anniversary by Building the World’s Largest Dog House, Times Square, 11:30 a.m.; Augusten Burroughs, Bryant Park Reading Room, 12:30 p.m.; Red Rope Playhouse presents “Ex-Lovers,” 407 West 43rd Street, 7:30 p.m., http://www.nyplaywrightslab.org]

Wednesday, May 21st