George and Hilly: Prisoners of Roosevelt Island

DR. SELMAN: I really don’t recommend it.

GEORGE: You know what really works as an antidepressant, and I’m not changing the subject? We watched the first two seasons of Friday Night Lights in like four days. Wasn’t that great? If NBC canceled that show, I may snap.

HILLY: There’s something very comforting about that show. It feels like you’re taking a step back in time, to a time or a place where people still have values that we were brought up with.

DR. SELMAN: Do you want to try the antidepressant?

GEORGE: Yes, definitely.

DR. SELMAN: Are you O.K. with him taking this?

HILLY: I’m O.K. if he wants to take it, but I just think that it seems to me like it would be extremely important for him to keep this private. As something between you and me and anyone else close to him, but I don’t think that you should write about it, at least for the first month.

GEORGE: I’m not the slightest bit embarrassed about that kind of thing.

HILLY: I can imagine people sending e-mails—I mean, people can get very political, and enraged about antidepressants. Another thing that has been causing him unhappiness is that you think that you’re overweight.

GEORGE: I have a double chin and tummy rolls. No man boobs yet, but I’m working on it.

HILLY: He gets very upset about it, but then almost with a drop of a hat he’ll immediately almost want to turn to food for comfort—that’s rich coming from me because we all know what I go to.

GEORGE: I’m really into carbs.

HILLY: Well, for the most part you’re a pretty healthy eater, and I think that people’s body chemistry changes, and I think because you’re so stationary most of the day and then these late-night eating binges—

GEORGE: Macaroni salad, mashed potatoes, cheese, mac and cheese, pasta, ice cream, beer—

HILLY: I’m bringing it up because I know that some of these medications sometimes have effects one way or the other—

GEORGE: Oooh, so I could put on 30 pounds, maybe get up to 250? That’ll be great for my appearance.

DR. SELMAN: I wouldn’t expect you to gain weight on it.

GEORGE: If I put on 20 to 30 pounds, it may achieve its opposite effect and I become really miserable and I won’t be able do my job. I mean, to do my job, I have to go to parties and talk to people and be charming. So if I’m a blimp—

HILLY: No, it seems to me that if the medication works, it would mean the opposite, because you’d feel less depressed and more pliant and more—

DR. SELMAN: And more motivated. Maybe more awake. Maybe get into a better sleep-wake cycle. Maybe clean your apartment.

GEORGE: Maybe I will keep this a secret. No one has to know, right? Been playing a lot of tennis, haven’t we?

HILLY: I have been since January because I’ve been trying to get to a point where I’m good enough so I can play with George and it’s actually fun for us. Instead of him having to spend the whole time teaching me. He’s just such a good teacher. Talk about the opposite of selfish.

GEORGE: Sometimes she’s afraid of the ball, so what I did is, I got right in front of the ball machine, got down on my knees and let the ball hit me in the groin.

DR. SELMAN: It seems like moving to Roosevelt Island was a big upgrade.

GEORGE: I come into Manhattan every three days, and it’s such a culture shock. The other day I couldn’t believe all the people, and someone walked by me on his cell phone jabbering away like an idiot, like a savage beast, and it’s like, I can’t believe I used to live there. They should make more islands around Manhattan. Can’t you make islands these days? Don’t they do that in Dubai? They should make another 20 Roosevelt Islands around Manhattan. Watch someone steal this idea and make trillions.

HILLY: One of the things that I love about Roosevelt Island is coming home after a long day of work and to have—

DR. SELMAN: And to have the apartment a mess and George in his pajamas.

GEORGE: I guess one of my biggest problem is, I don’t have a social life there. Really wish I knew a couple people I can say hi to, even the local pot dealer—then I’ve got someone to say hi to.

HILLY: Why don’t you put a notice up, on the message board?

GEORGE: Just say, ‘I’m lonely, need a pal’?

HILLY: Just be like, ‘I work at home, I’m looking for someone who would be willing to play the occasional spur-of-the-moment tennis or pool.’ What’s wrong with that? Oh, another thing, his brother’s documentary came out; it’s about [the bar] Siberia.

DR. SELMAN: Did they have many scenes of throwing drinks around or getting hit with a chair?

GEORGE: There’s a nice shot of me firing up a bowl, acting like a jackass. It’s riveting. Even if you’re not an insider. I think it’s going to hit the film festivals.

DR. SELMAN: If you can get me a DVD, I’d love to see it. Let me give you the medication. Do you want some more Adderall? I can give you that, too.

GEORGE: And maybe some Viagra?

DR. SELMAN: All right.

George and Hilly: Prisoners of Roosevelt Island