Monday, June 30th

Men … in uniforms! If you’re tired of the squishy, slippery, chatty (hell: truly pyscho!) men you’re meeting on Match.com and J Date, the New York City Marine Corps is here to blow your bugle with an inaugural black-tie affair named “Mess Night”—after a marine feasting tradition dating from the 1500s, explained Lt. Col. Jeff Carusone—at the New York Athletic Club, to benefit the Bob Woodruff Family Foundation, a charity for wounded soldiers that Mr. Woodruff started after he was injured. Civilians are invited, even though non-Marines are not usually present at Mess Night: “To tell you the truth, this is the first mess in mixed company, and it will be interesting to see how it pans out,” said Mr. Carusone. (Oops, Lieutenant Colonel Carusone! Sir!) “Typically, not even spouses attend a mess night.” He told us that weapons used in Iraq will be on display (This is getting hot.) Further, to assist with fund-raising, attendees will be “fined” for “Violations of the Mess Etiquette” including passing wine in the wrong direction ($15), or discussing politics or religion ($30). “Then there will be some playful protesting, which might make it go up to $40 and maybe even $50,” said Mr. Carusone. “Someone might finally stand up and say, ‘I’ll put $100 in the pot, and I’ll really tell you how I feel!’” Let’s hope the guns—but not the fellas—are loaded with blanks. Sir!

[New York City Mess Night, New York Athletic Club, 180 Central Park South, 6 p.m., 212-247-5100]

mbryan@observer.com Monday, June 30th