Wednesday, June 11th

Help, we’re drowning—in young, nubile flesh! Why is the whole city suddenly 23 years old and hot (but not sweaty-hot?).

Help, we’re drowningin young, nubile flesh! Why is the whole city suddenly 23 years old and hot (but not sweaty-hot?). Meanwhile, we’ve somehow failed to lose those 10 pounds that would make our short shorts remotely appropriate, we have no vacation plans whatsoever and … wait, what’s this, cute spring dresses? Prim uptown designer Milly stages a fashion show for her “resort” collection (whatever!) with hosts Celerie Kemble and beleaguered socialite Olivia Palermo, who may or may not be on the Hills spin-off that may or may not be happening. Later, since everyone knows no ambitious new watering hole can fling open its doors to the hoi polloi without first hosting a private party for a Condé Nast publication, Architectural Digest christens former Alto and L’Impero chef Scott Conant’s new meatpacking district Italian, Scarpetta, over a meal of beef short ribs and duck and foie gras ravioli. (Don’t they serve those in the Condé Nast cafeteria?) The space was formerly the Village Idiot. “People come in and they say, ‘You’re the Village Idiot, and I say, No, we’re not,” said the convivial Mr. Conant. “It happens all the time.” His restaurant’s name, he said, “comes from the word ‘scarpetta,’ which in Italian is when you sop up your food with your bread.” “The bar,” he said, will be “a beautiful bar that people don’t mind sidling up to and spending a couple hours.” Don’t mind if we do! Later, Grizzly Man auteur Warner Herzog opens a new film about Antarctica, Encounters at the End of the World—but this one ain’t about penguins! “The penguins have been documented, I didn’t need to focus on that,” said Mr. Herzog when we called him up. “Though there is one sequence with penguins, but it’s a different take on them. I spoke to a scientist that studies penguins for almost 20 years; he wasn’t so much into conversations with human beings anymore. All of a sudden he warms up and starts to talk about some primitive forms of prostitution among penguins.” We do not remember this from March of the Penguins! Mr. Herzog, who spent seven weeks filming on the bottom of the earth, also informed us that “bureaucracy has invaded Antarctica. You’ll even find ATM machines down there.” (Our PIN would be B-R-R-R.) Finally, author and mentor to a moist clump of memoirists, Susan Shapiro, hosts a “Secrets Behind Publishing” panel at Cooper Union, featuring literary agent Betsy Lerner, New Yorker editor Daniel Zalewski, Random House editor Cindy Spiegel, Essence editor Vanessa Bush, and Times Styles Section editor Trip Gabriel. E-mailed Ms. Shapiro: “My favorite question to ask the panelists is, ‘What can a writer do that would alienate you instantly?’” Favorite answers? “Start your cover letter, ‘Though I’ve never read your publication,’ spell my name wrong, send me your 800-page experimental sci-fi rhyming thriller unsolicited and call the next day to say, ‘Did you read it yet?’”

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[Milly, the X-Change, 640 West 28th Street, 6 p.m., invite only; Scarpetta, 355 West 14th Street, 6 p.m., invite only; Encounters at the End of the World, for showtimes; Secrets Behind Publishing panel, Cooper Union’s Great Hall, 7 East Seventh Street, 7 p.m., 212-6


Wednesday, June 11th