Wednesday, June 25th

How big is your boyfriend’s summer share? If it weren’t for the sulfurous breeze coming from the approaching F train, we might be forced to strip naked on the subway platform and show this moist curdled season what we really think of it! (Partly our fault for not dumping the unemployed musician in time to find a feller with a jet copter to East Hampton. … And mostly the fault of the knuckleheads at the M.T.A. and our Bermuda-bound mayor, Mike Bloomberg, for allowing the “underground” to become a tangled jangle of frazzled and frizzy nerves, with filthy subway cars, rats the size of cats, steam-drenched delays and sadistic M.T.A. employees!) But don’t you just want to be Michelle Obama’s best friend? We just can’t help but be proud of our $5 fake pearls for the first time in our adult life! And we may as well wear them to an art film! Louise Bourgeois: The Spider, the Mistress and the Tangerine premieres at Film Forum just in time for the 96-year-old art doyenne’s retrospective at the Guggenheim. Said director Amei Wallach, who began filming Ms. Bourgeois in 1993 with a co-director, Marion Cajori, who died several years ago: “Louise is profound about the things all of us live—family life and feelings and the little traumas we don’t want to acknowledge.” Right. And what exactly does she make, again? “She makes installations out of old clothes,” said Ms. Wallach. “She makes modernist sculptures out of old towels. She works in marble, she works in synthetic materials, she’ll use old doors, blown glass.” Best of all, she still lives in Chelsea, where “she’s still drawing constantly.” You go, sister girlfriend!

[Louise Bourgeois documentary at Film Forum, 209 West Houston Street, 212-727-8110,] Wednesday, June 25th