Sunday, September 28

Bubba hits the Y! Lock up your strudel! Our favorite Casanova, Bill Clinton, rides his pony down from Harlem to 92nd Street to minister to the Democrats on his recent not-so-subtle theme, “Why John McCain Would Make A Mighty Fine President,” oops, “The Business of Giving in the 21st Century.” And in related events: friendly sex-toy emporium Babeland throws itself a 15th birthday party—which somehow sounds all wrong and NBC’s Predator-y, no? “Sex has proven to be recession-proof over the past 15 years,” said Pamela Doan, a rep for the store. “Kind of perfect timing for the things going on in New York right now.” Honey, they haven’t built a vibrator powerful enough to buzz this city back to bonus-land! Lucky guests will sniff new versions of the Technicolor Rabbit while mingling with the Babeland mascot, which is, naturally, a giant vulva. (Duck, duck … goose!) Said Ms. Doan: “There’s always a vulva, that’s always been our mascot. It’s been all over the city with us, parties, political rallies…” Suddenly, we feel unwell. Later, vulvas go vegan as our favorite altruists at Farm Sanctuary host a New York City Walk for Animals, at which skinny-jeaned hipsters munching bagels with tofu-scallion cream cheese will walk off their wheat-grass hangovers in Central Park. Best of all, animal rights philosopher-king Peter Singer is involved. Jasmin Singer of Farm Sanctuary explained how she roped the illustrious Princeton Prof in: “I name-dropped every single person I know who’s ever met him, and I played the ‘My last name is Singer also card,’ and he wrote back and said sure!” Ms. Singer added of the roosters on her organization’s Web site: “They are totally real! That’s what happens when you allow them to live out their lives without humans messing up their lifestyles.” You know what? We could use a sanctuary without humans messing up our lifestyle. Pass the Technicolor Rabbit.

[Bill Clinton at the 92nd Street Y, 1395 Lexington Avenue, 8 p.m., www.92y.org; Babeland’s 15th Anniversary Party, 43 Mercer Street, 3 p.m. to 7 p.m., 347-578-4426; NYC Walk for Farm Animals, Columbus Circle, Merchant’s Gate, 59th Street and Central Park West, 10 a.m., 607-583-2225]

mbryan@observer.com

Sunday, September 28