If you don’t feel like being yet another Ashley Dupre, Sarah Palin, Don Draper, or Dick Fuld for Halloween this year, consider a costume that you can whip up in less than 24 hours that will no doubt impress your social-climbing friends: the New York socialite.
Throwing together a socialite costume overnight is easy. Most of what you’ll need is probably already in your closet–or your friend’s closet–and it has the attractiveness and comfort factor without being overtly slutty. There are three types of the species still roaming the New York social scene. Here’s a five step guide to achieving each look.
Tinsley Mortimer, the Married-Into-Status Uptown Socialite
1. Wear a designer dress preferably not older than the spring ’08 runways, but something that isn’t too fashion-forward. Classy and flattering is key. One of those Herve Leger binding dresses is a great choice.
2. Hopefully you have blond hair, which you will mold into perfect ringlets with a curling iron.
3. Ms. Mortimer is very philanthropic, so find a “green” tote to use as a purse. The Feed bags at Whole Foods that Lauren Bush wears everywhere will work marvelously. (Just make sure to let everyone know you left your Birkin at home.) Or you can carry a clutch from Ms. Mortimer’s line Samantha Thavasa.
4. If you have boyfriend, husband, or significant other, ask them to follow you around in a tux and act sheepish whenever you ask them to fetch you things.
5. If you don’t, bring along your gay hairdresser.
Brooke Astor, the True Old Money Socialite
1. Find a Chanel suit.
2. Pair it with one of those sparkly duck or bunny clutches often found in windows of Madison Avenue boutiques.
3. Heavy makeup on the face to make you seem more fair-skinned than you actually are.
4. Fur around the shoulders.
5. And don’t forget your gay decorator with a charming silk handkerchief in the breast pocket.
Arden Wohl, the Downtown Alterna-Socialite
1. At this point we probably don’t even have to say this, but tie a headband of any sort around your straightened hair so as to blend the hippie and the pirate looks into one.
2. Wear bright colored tights.
3. Find a perfectly mismatched designer top and bottom that, when combined, look like that’s exactly how you meant to pair them. Something loose and bohemian is best.
4. Very tall, mildly painful shoes are a must.
5. Bring along your gay NYU film student friend.
If none of the above works out, you can always just download a print-ready Anderson Cooper or Nina Garcia mask on Cityfile.