O.k., we’re turning into our Midwestern mother: We can’t stop smiling! Complaining suddenly feels so … unpatriotic! At this rate, we’ll be one of those unbearable glass-half-full people by Thanksgiving! Luckily, there are still things to be glum about around here, such as the killing of innocent critters for the purpose of eveningwear! Please hand us our soapbox! The Humane Society of the United States sponsors its annual Cool Vs. Cruel Fashion Awards, recognizing designers Calvin Klein and Marc Bouwer, among others who would rather cuddle with mammals than wear them for a photo op. Dashing British fashion photographer Nigel Barker, best known for America’s Next Top Model, is one such person: “For me, the concept of the way we kill animals for fur is so barbaric, specifically seals,” he said. “I do feel my industry is almost wholly responsible for the use of fur and the interest in fur.” He explained that there “are various camps. Those that don’t care about anything, really, other than whether it looks good or not. There are a lot of people, in fashion or not, who don’t think about the consequences of their actions. More than half the time, if I explain about a certain situation, people are shocked. And they say, ‘Oh, I’m never doing this again.’” Joining Mr. Barker at the Bowery Hotel will be socialite Ann Dexter-Jones, her daughter Charlotte Ronson, Claire Bernard, Fabiola Beracasa, Olivia Chantecaille, actress and designer Milla Jovovich, blond beanpole Kate Bosworth, Paper editor Kim Hastretier, cuddly drag queen Lady Bunny, jewelry designer Waris Ahluwalia, famous daughter Stella Schnabel, beleaguered Box owner Simon Hammerstein, skeletal actress Brittany Murphy, unlikely Natalie Portman arm-candy Devendra Banhart and omnipresent socialite Genevieve Jones, all rallying to enlighten the emaciated, obliviously stylish masses … such as those present further uptown, one assumes, at the Met’s Apollo Circle Benefit for young patrons! A black tie (oh, fancy!) dinner dance—DJ’d by Paul Sevigny, imported from hipper pastures downtown—fetes art and general depression-era fabulousness, attended by (incidentally, fur-loving) socialite Lauren Santo Domingo, lately married to a Colombian gazillionaire; designer Tory Burch; living doll Tinsley Mortimer; and others who have not yet been forced by the financial crisis to endure the indignity of wearing the same thing twice … not even undergarments!
[Humane Society of the United States Cool Vs. Cruel ceremony, Bowery Hotel, 335 Bowery, 7 p.m., invite only; the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Apollo Circle Benefit, the Temple of Denudur in the Sackler Wing, 1000 Fifth Avenue, 9 p.m., 212-650-2371]