’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city … Jewish folks log out of JDate, and attend that feast of expectation, drunken boinking and self-loathing known as the Matzo Ball! To quote from the refreshingly straightforward press release: “For many, Christmas Eve is about getting to church, getting the kids to bed early and getting gifts under the tree. But for Jewish singles, Christmas Eve is about getting it on …” Amen. We’ll be crashing the late-night Christmas Eve bash thrown by dapper Gay Talese, whom we suspect of having several ostrich-leather-bound personal grooming kits.
[Matzo Ball, Capitale, 130 Bowery Street, 9 p.m., www.matzoball.org]