Tuesday, January 20

The planet swoons as idealists, quacks, opportunists and rich New York Democrats flock to our nation’s capital for countless inauguration parades and galas and balls in honor of our smoldering new commander in chief. (But will the 5,000 Porta-Potties on order, as reported by The Washington Post, be enough?) This multitude of glittering festivities may cause one to wonder how there will be money left to, like, bail out the economy, but hey, on with the Green Inaugural Ball and the Babyboomer Professionals Inaugural Ball and the Rhode Island and North Dakota Welders’ Association Balls. If you’re stuck in New York, there’s a celebratory cocktail party at Soho standby Savoy—known for its game!—featuring some of the “greatest hits” of the prez’s hometown Chicago food, such as deep-dish pizza and wieners. (Tempeh for us, please.)  Meanwhile, the hip place to be in Brooklyn is monstrous BAM, which is staging a free live Presidential Inauguration broadcast, and one might pop in at the Target over at the Atlantic Center for a little shopperoo afterward, even though we’re totally over “masstige” clothing labels.

[Presidential Inauguration Parade, Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C., 2:30 p.m.; gala cocktail party at Savoy, 70 Prince Street, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., 212-219-8570; Bam in the House, BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Avenue, Brooklyn, 11:30 a.m., www.bam.org]