Now that consumerism is dead, must we still celebrate the idiot Hallmark holidays it wrought? Let’s take a clinical approach to Valentine’s Day and check in with the restaurant industry: Chef Gabriel Kreuther of the Modern told us he is planning “a nice tasting menu” for $185, excluding booze, but including museum admission. “We’re gonna start off with three nice canapés, and then the next course is butternut squash panna cotta with pomegranate and some crispy sage,” le chef explained. “I have seven or eight courses. … The third one is half-smoked sturgeon with American sturgeon caviar on the top and a red beet reduction on the top. … Then we have chestnut raviolis with black winter truffles and sunchokes. … And then petit fours, chocolates …” Don’t puke on the Pollocks! And how will Monsieur Kreuther be celebrating? “I am going to be here working. So I’m probably going to do something with my wife on Sunday. … But maybe she’s gonna come see me later on in the evening, have a glass of Champagne. Usually it’s a day later or a day earlier that I do things. … My wife is sometimes not happy, but that’s how it is!” Yeah, deal with it, honey! Meanwhile, over at the Plaza, an oxymoronic-sounding “Passion at the Oak Room” menu includes foie gras terrine and prime beef tenderloin with truffle sauce, but not a suite upstairs. … And the famously unsentimental fashion flock is ignoring the romantic hoopla altogether and attending shows by preppy clothier Lacoste, up-and-comers Vena Cava and boy wonder Alexander Wang. Us, we’re mulling the old Helen Gurley Brown swathe-self-in-Saran-Wrap trick! Why not?
[Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, www.mbfashionweek.com; Valentine’s Prix Fixe at the Modern, 9 West 53rd Street, 212-333-1220; Valentine’s Day Prix Fixe at the Oak Room, the Plaza, 10 Central Park South, 212-758-7777]