Ladies and gentlemen, Andrew Huang is taking requests. Visit his website, Songs to Wear Pants To, tell him your stories, and he’ll set them to song.
Huang, who is based in Toronto, does do pro bono work, but if you’re looking for a ghostwritten valentine, jumping the queue will cost you. (The rates go from $50 to $200 per song minute.) You can pick out the lyrics, genres, and instruments, or give the artist free rein. But before you do, visit the site’s archive and hear the hundreds of silly, infectious, heartfelt ditties he’s already recorded: “Never Been in Love,” “You Love Her So Much It’s Embarrassing,” and “Stacey, Be My Barbie Doll” are especially good.
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