Monday: Gossip Girl
OMFG you guys! It’s the Gossip Girl season-two finale! And sheesh, what a long and crazy ride it has been … hmmm, we can’t really remember a single continuing plot point! But tonight the you-know-what will really hit the fan when Gossip Girl sends out a “scandalous” email as the kids graduate from high school. Will Chuck Bass be that guy not wearing any clothes under his gown? Will Jenny try to take the throne of Queen Bee? Tune in! [CW, 8 p.m.]
Tuesday: The Talented Mr. Ripley
Remember when Jude Law was really hot? We can tell you: in 1999’s The Talented Mr. Ripley. Directed by Anthony Minghella, this super-creepy thriller is about a social-climbing psychopath played by Matt Damon (the first performance when we were all like, huh, this guy can really act!) who goes all sort of single white male over Jude Law and his girlfriend, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. Everyone had a part in this thing—don’t miss the awesome turns by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Cate Blanchett. [TMC, 8 p.m.]
Wednesday: American Idol
This is it, fellow American Idol lovers! On Tuesday, the two finalists, cutie-pie Kris Allen and the awesome space alien from planet Velvet Goldmine (a.k.a. Adam Lambert) sang it out for your votes. Tonight we’ll learn who will get a ton of confetti dumped on them and trotted out to various press engagements till next year. We’re actually really excited! And, with the creepy widower out of the running, we truly believe that there’s no bad outcome this year. [Fox, 8 p.m.]
Thursday: Chasing Amy
If one really wants to party like it’s 1997, we must suggest tuning in to Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy. Could this movie about a man (Ben Affleck) falling in love with a lesbian (Joey Lauren Adams) and having an odd-yet-very-familiar-feeling relationship with his best friend (Jason Lee) be made today? If so, it would be executive-produced by Judd Apatow and star Seth Rogen and James Franco … in a perfect world they would totally end up together, fingercuffs be damned (after a bloody shooting spree). Where is Joey Lauren Adams these days, anyway? [IFC, 8 p.m.]
Friday: Teen Wolf
Before there was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer and waaaaay before we had Twilight, 1985 gave us Teen Wolf. Imagine, Michael J. Fox is just an ordinary high-school basketball player … till it turns out he is a werewolf. It helps him shoot baskets but it seriously messes up his dating life! It’s nice to know the classics are always there for us, but we are unhappy with whoever decided not to make this a back-to-back feature with Jason Bateman in 1987’s Teen Wolf Too (he’s a teen wolf too, get it?).[Cimenax, 1:15 p.m.]
