We just don’t know what to think about this movie. Following up on the success of 2007’s Transformers (which grossed over $700 million worldwide), little Shia LeBouf—whom we still haven’t fully accepted as an honest-to-god movie star—returns as Sam Witwicky, attending some Ivy-looking college and inexplicably still dating the hotter-than-hot Megan Fox long distance (she wears short shorts and bends over motorcycles!). But then all hell breaks loose: Fireballs in the sky! Paris blows up! Egyptian pyramids! And, of course, lots and lots of robots in disguise. Michael Bay directs and Steven Spielberg executive-produces, so it’s pretty safe to say that it will make a kabillion trillion dollars. We’re guessing we won’t be able to explain the plot even after we’ve seen it, but those special effects really do look freakin’ awesome. (June 26, Paramount)
Here’s a very important question: Is anyone else terribly disturbed by Johnny Depp’s complete lack of aging? Seriously, the man has looked the same for the last 15 years! Our money is on a painting in the attic (and don’t think we haven’t noticed you too, Ewan McGregor). Also? Public Enemies looks, simply, awesome. Michael Mann directs, and the film stars Mr. Depp as O.G. bank robber John Dillinger. Also starring: screamy-pants Christian Bale, the lovely best-Oscar-acceptance-speech-ever Marion Cotillard, Lost’s Emilie de Raven, Billy Crudup, Channing Tatum and even Stephen Dorff. How'd he manage that? (July 1, Universal)
Universal
Surely everyone remembers all the fuss made over Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan back in 2006. Sacha Baron Cohen and director Larry Charles look to have another monster (and controversial!) hit on their hands with Mr. Baron Cohen's flamboyant Austrian fashionista character, Brüno. You think the Eminem stunt caused a lot of buzz last week? Just you wait. Or watch the trailer. (July 10, Universal)
Universal
Just go ahead now and cancels your plans for mid-July. That's right, it's Harry Potter time! Remember when this franchise was considered fun and for the kiddies? Those days are waaay behind us now, as we hit this very-dark chapter. Judging from the trailer, things look to be bananas for those poor Hogwart kids! But hey, at least they all seem to be aging pretty well! Hey, how’d that Unicorn tapestry get in there? (July 15, Warner Bros.)
Warner Bros.
It’s hard to resist a movie that has a couple meeting cute while listening to the Smiths. But here’s why we’re worried: (500) Days of Summer, starring the eternally winsome Zooey Deschanel as Summer (get it?) and the he-can-do-anything Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is either going to totally and completely rock our world or it’s going to make us go into insulin shock. Still, we have a feeling we'll eventually cave to its charm (we always do). Sigh. (July 17, Fox Searchlight)
Could this be the movie that finally gives the much-disliked Katherine Heigl what’s she’s been looking for, i.e., total Julia Roberts–like movie stardom? Judging from the trailer, you gotta figure you know absolutely everything about what’s going to happen in this movie: Ms. Heigl plays an uptight morning show producer who somehow gets involved in having her totally opposite-type chauvinistic correspondent (Gerard Butler; we can only hope he can move past PS I Love You) coaching her on her love life. Here’s our guess: They end up falling in love themselves! That said, this comes out in the dead of summer, when a little formulaic rom-com and air-conditioning is never a bad thing. Also, we have not figured out this film's wink to the absolutely best romantic comedy ever, The Awful Truth. Will someone please explain it to us? (July 24, Sony Pictures)
We are not ashamed to admit to watching the trailer for this Judd Apatow movie more times than necessary. Partly because we didn’t know Eric Bana could ever be so awesome at playing a total Australian tool. (Is he a secret comedic genius?) Also, Apatow-backlash aside, this movie looks really good! You got your Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler (Daniel Day-Lewis loved him in Punch Drunk Love, which is all the endorsement we’ll ever need) plus Leslie Mann, and their unbearably cute little Mann-Apatow kids. If the movie lives up to this trailer, we imagine everyone can shut up about the Apatow factory and go back to just plain loving him all over again. (July 31, Universal)
Will the ladies turn out for G.I. Joe? Speaking for our fairer sex, we’d like to come clean and tell you we know absolutely not one thing about this franchise. Seriously! But, whatever, it sure looks lively (seems like Paris, not N.Y.C., is getting the snot kicked out of it for a change, too). And hey, there’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt again! We sure hope that he is the cobra the title refers to, and not some spooky big-ass CGI snake. (August 7, Paramount)
Five words for you: Meryl Streep as Julia Child. Can anyone think of anything better? First Mama Mia!, and now this! Ms. Streep stars as the best cooking show lady ever, and the always charming Amy Adams plays her modern-day counterpart. Nora Ephron (who knows quite a bit about humorous writing involving food—if you haven’t read Heartburn, you should step away from the computer and go out and get it immediately) is the brains who writes and directs this intertwining of two memoirs, Julie Powell’s Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen and Julia Child’s My Life in France. (August 7, Sony Pictures)
Ah, yes, the return of the great Quentin Tarantino. (His American Idol mentoring session doesn’t count!) We feel like folks have been buzzing about this one for an eternity, and here at the summer’s end, we’ll finally get to see what all the fuss is about. Here’s what we know: It takes place in Nazi-occupied France during WW2 where a group of soldiers are chosen to kick some serious Nazi ass. Brad Pitt is in it! Christoph Waltz won best actor at last month’s Cannes Film Festival! Sure looks awfully bloody. (August 21, Weinstein Company)
