MONDAY:Gossip Girl
OMFG! It really must be Fall, because our DVR runneth over with all the shows coming back this week (thank you, universe). Tonight, it’s the recession-proof Gossip Girl with season three. Most of the gang are in college now (though we can’t keep it straight how many of these guys have now “opted” to go to NYU instead of Yale – this play, btw, was totally trail-blazed by Andrea Zuckerman way back when. Suck it, new 90210!), and judging from the previews we can expect the usual: Chuck and Blair trading witticisms, Chase Crawford and his remarkable bone structure, and Blake Lively and all that hair. Yay! Um, also, we all agree that this show is totally silly, right? OK then. [CW, 8 p.m.]
TUESDAY: The Biggest Loser
Say what you will about former NBC wonderboy Ben Silverman, but let’s give the man some credit, at least, for The Biggest Loser. Gosh, this show! This eighth go around looks more emotional than ever (we totally got misty during the preview for heaven’s sake). They’ve brought back one of the guys who didn’t make it last time around: Daniel, a sweet pink-faced boy who weighed in at 454 lbs making him the heaviest contestant ever – and if you think you won’t be hearing that phrase about a thousand times, you’d think wrong. Also, there is a very nice-looking lady competing who lost her husband and two children in a car crash in 2006. Good lord, lady, we’re already rooting for you (note to NBC: you are evil, evil geniuses and we sorta love you). [NBC, 8 p.m.]
WEDNESDAY: Roger Dodger
Back in 2002, the very first year of its existence, the Tribeca Film Festival awarded Roger Dodger its top prize. And you know what? This thing holds up pretty well, if only to see the truly excellent performances by Campbell Scott (who really should be working more and not just popping up in crappy TV shows every once in a while) and Jesse Eisenberg, making his feature film debut as an impressionable youth being schooled in the ways of love by his deeply-troubled Uncle Roger. Remember when Mr. Eisenberg was Michael Cera before there even was a Michael Cera? We’re thinking he might end up winning the sensitive nerd-off eventually. [IFC, 6:05 p.m.]
THURSDAY: The Office
Season six premieres tonight – and isn’t it crazy that this thing has not only trudged along right up to the line of greatness that was the British original and then kept on going? Anyway, tonight’s episode has the office drones gossiping about the interns (the Observer wouldn’t know anything about that) while Michael (Steve Carell) searches for something juicy to share while Andy (Ed Helms) struggles with his heterosexuality. Also, not for nothing, but how great was it to see B.J. Novak show up in Inglourious Basterds? [NBC, 9 p.m.]
FRIDAY: The Abyss
Want to feel really old? James Cameron’s The Abyss came out twenty years ago. Now, while everyone is all whipped up into a tizzy over Avatar (which, no matter how insistent every Comic-Con nerd is, still just looks to us like a Led Zeppelin album cover come to life) let’s remember this one, which totally blew our minds (twenty years ago, when we saw it in the theater, sigh). Most of the action takes place under
