During the fall gubernatorial campaign, Chris Christie promised to turn Trenton upside down. Well, he has finally started at least to turn it on its side.
“In my first act to cut back waste in government, starting in 2012, I am going to lay off one Congressman. It’s time to trim the deadwood from the Garden State tree,” declared Governor-Elect Christie.
According to a report from an unnamed anonymous source deep inside the Christie Transition Team, the Governor-Elect was still “considering all options” as to which Congressman would be laid off, and would not make an announcement until “late next year”.
The latest population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau shows New Jersey’s estimated population is 8,707,739 – up 3.5%. In more good news, Christie revealed a plan to increase the number of constituents in each Congressional district’s “family”.
“Every one loves a larger family, with more friends and more fun. This gives each Congressman an opportunity to help more people. And after all, that is what politics is all about—helping people.”
In other reactions to the announced change in the number of Congressman from 13 to 12, the New Jersey Society of The Superstitious (NJSOTS) issued a press release praising Christie for his “wisdom and courage” in removing the “unlucky 13th Congressman”, which they say for years was the reason for New Jersey’s misfortunes.
“We’ll now see better days ahead in the Garden State. We’re keeping our fingers crossed,” declared Jose Schlip, the current NJSOTS president. The NJSOTS over the years has lobbied for legislation to require unbreakable mirrors, ladders no higher than one foot high, and funding for the spaying and neutering of black cats.