Marriage, Schmarriage.

We don’t need 'Marriage Equality, we need more appropriate names for the various kinds of ‘Unions’.

“I am in favor of equal rights for homosexual couples. I think they need the same rights as married couples. And they do have Civil Unions. That law gives them the same rights as married couples. Just don’t call it ‘Marriage’. That just doesn’t seem right to me. Marriage has always been between a man and a woman.”

Well, that was the opinion of an attorney friend of mine, Sandy, who is a good, critical thinker. And a fairly religious person. So, obviously the entire problem is in the word, ‘marriage’.

So, let’s go in another direction, and initiate a creative solution. Instead of one name –marriage—for all unions–how about different names for different types of unions? Maybe that might work.

How about ‘Shrivel Unions’ for marriages between really short people.

Or ‘Drivel Unions’ for marriages between really inconsequential people.

Or maybe ‘Swivel Unions’, for bi-sexual folks who swing in both directions.

Two frivolous people who marry can describe their union as a ‘frivol union.’

Let’s get serious and try to meet some of the Right-wing’s objections. Some Senators like Mike Doherty oppose marriage equality on the basis of the fact that they say ‘marriage is only for pro-creation’. So, what about second marriages between older folks who have no intention of having kids? Maybe the term “Elder Union” would satisfy the senator from the 23rd district.

Recently Senator Gerald Cardinale expressed his concern that non-sexual ‘sham’ unions between two people of the same gender and sexuality might pop up and try to scam the system for the healthcare or tax benefits. Those might be called ‘sham marriage’ or schmarriage.

Anyway you look at it, marriage equality is the way to go.

Marriage, Schmarriage.