The Week That Was: March 17-23

Healthcare! Score. We second Joe Biden’s sentiments.

While we would not pretend to understand everything about the new law of the land, we know this much is true: people up to age 26 can now stop pretending that they know what is up with insurance.

In our experience, people of this demographic must be free to worry about more urgent health concerns. Like: How old is that bacon? And: Surely the mold in our shower is not the kind you get respiratory diseases from? And: How would we know if we had bed bugs? Maybe those are just early-season mosquito bites?

The roster of things we can be trusted to keep track of is mortifyingly brief, except when it comes to pop culture.

For example, we have kept close track of The Runaways. We know all about it. We will probably not go see it, however; we are not so into Kristen Stewart, America’s weaselfaced sweetheart.

We are highly aware of Alex Chilton’s recent death.

We are more aware than we would like to be of Sandra Bullock’s marital woes. The tale of her husband’s dalliances is unfortunate, but does not strike us as terribly compelling. Jesse James seemed sort of skeevy all along, so his turning out to be a skeeve fails to interest us. We require the element of surprise to get really invested in a celebrity narrative. Like, Joanna Newsom dating Andy Samberg. When we saw her perform last week, we were unable to stop thinking about this. How did they meet, and what do they talk about at breakfast?

We are also very good at keeping track of what’s on HBO, so we anticipate David Simon’s Treme eagerly. We watched the trailer with interest. We hope this will not be a John from Cincinnati-style debacle.

All we really want, after all, are committed relationships with hour-long television dramas on DVD. They give us something to talk about when we meet new people. Which season of The Wire do we prefer, and why?

This is surely a conversation we will never tire of having.

(So we hope; coming up with new small talk seems exhausting.)

But sometimes, in spite of ourselves, we stumble into clever planning. We purchased Middlemarch on the Ides without even meaning to make a dumb joke. And yesterday, on the subway, a man with a didgeridoo told us that we had done “a good job matching [our] nail polish to [our] jacket.”

We did not even realize that was something to keep track of! At this point, we will take what we can get. The Week That Was: March 17-23