Meloni and the Zamboni: Skating With Stars Proves Slightly Soggy

Figure Skating in Harlem, a nonprofit organization that provides athletic training and education to girls and young women from Harlem, held its sixth annual Skating with the Stars benefit event at Trump Wollman Skating Rink on a balmy Monday, April 5. But where were the stars?

Leaning nearby on an elevated cafe table, looking tired, was Christopher Meloni, who has played detective Elliot Stabler on SVU since 1999. “The residuals are nice,” he said.

His right forearm was covered with what looked like scratches and cuts.

“It’s called poison ivy,” Mr. Meloni said. “I was trying to be a man and put drainage pipe on my property up in Connecticut. I guess I’m not a real man.” We beg to differ! But was he contagious?

“It’s like leprosy, a dry leprosy. Sorry about that, my bad.”

After a quick disinfection, the Transom found SVU cast member Ice-T and his wife, Coco, sharing plates of pepperoni pizza and macaroni and cheese. “I hope you don’t mind our chewing,” he said.

We were impressed that the food hadn’t smudged his lady love’s lipstick. “It’s by MAC, and it’s pronounced “maw-ve, not ‘mauve,'” said Coco, who was wearing a white minidress with a black-and-white, tiger-striped jacket over 3-inch black-and-white platform pumps. She was not planning to skate. “In case I fall-I don’t want to show the goodies. Can’t just be ‘Free Willy’ with it, right?”

Thankfully, veteran skaters Kristi Yamaguchi and Dorothy Hamill were on hand to keep things classy. “I’m so happy to be here to welcome home all the Olympians, and of course, to see all the girls that will perform and skate for us tonight,” said Ms. Hamill, still sporting her famous bowl cut.

Meanwhile, recent Olympian Johnny Weir kept saying he wanted a chicken finger. Wearing a wireless microphone and constantly shadowed by two cameras, Mr. Weir told the Transom that his reality show, which airs periodically on the Sundance Channel (featuring him wearing a mink coat and sparkling platform heels in the opening credits), may be picked up for a second season.

“I don’t usually have the chance to express myself as a person, and I wanted to give myself a voice and show people my heart,” Mr. Weir said.

What were his plans for the evening?

“I have no idea how it happened, but I’m hanging out with Macaulay Culkin!”

Meloni and the Zamboni: Skating With Stars Proves Slightly Soggy