Two Jaded Cops Offer a Law & Order Postmortem

In the criminal justice system, whenever two cops discover a dead body they are obligated to make sardonic statements pertaining to the victim. These are their comments.


“What a shame. A perfectly good franchise flagship, cut down in its prime.”

“Yeah well I think it’s fair to say that this ship has run aground. Specifically, in Los Angeles.”


“Maybe it was all those reruns. Nobody needs new episodes when the show’s on five times a day.”

“I’ll be sure to check that the TiVo has an alibi.”


What are all those New York actors going to do? Everybody‘s been on that show.”

“Maybe I missed something. Is there an overabundance of waiters in this town?”


“Boy they sure had a good run, though.”

“Tell me about it. We’ve had a hard time collecting evidence because all the witnesses won’t stop talking about Gunsmoke.”


“I’ll miss those episodes that are ‘ripped from the headlines’.”

“Here’s a headline: NBC Continues Its Goodwill Campaign.”


“They had all kinds of competition these days. CSI, The Mentalist…”

“My ex-wife used to say that police procedurals are like the opposite of my ties: always in style. Wait, no. Networks treat police procedurals the way I used to treat booze: they can’t get enough.”


Vulture was saying that Dick Wolf might have just been playing chicken.”

“Yeah, right. Looks like this goose is cooked.


“There was speculation that TNT might pick it up.”

“Dynamite. Let’s go get something to eat.” Two Jaded Cops Offer a Law & Order Postmortem