Look What the Web Dragged In: Google Terrifies Public With Mysterious Balls

Today’s survey of tasty news dumplings begins where we all must begin at some point, with the awesome mystery of Google and why it does whatever it does. We also discuss inadvisable recreational activities involving skyscrapers and revisit the saga of a flight attendant named Steven, wherein he decides whether to accept his hero’s call to adventure.

1. The Dreaded Mystery of Google’s Dancing Balls

We quail before it, hooting and poking it with sticks. This Google is so strange! Why does it do what it does? The search behemoth has changed its signature logo on its homepage to an interactive game. Multicolored balls roll around when you first land on the page, fleeing your mouse, until they coalesce into the site name. Reports about speculation over the logo change only deepen the mystery; Google has said it has nothing to do with the site’s anniversary, even though Google’s fun with its most well-known graphic is usually directly tied to commemorating a holiday or an event. For now we can only watch the phenomenon in action, and wonder.

2. It’s Time to Stop Wearing White and Start Climbing Skyscrapers

Labor Day, 2010 excitement was probably embodied by Dan “The Skyscraper Man” Goodwin, a 50-something guy who apparently just loves climbing tall buildings. Goodwin took his Spider Man routine to the 58-story Millenium Towers in San Francisco yesterday. Right after he put up a flag to mark his victory over the elements and the sheer side of the building, San Francisco P.D. took the intrepid adventurer in for a friendly plate of victory cookies and a nice cup of tea. No, whatever police really said after Goodwin was in custody, we’re sure he’s a crazy diamond who will go on to shine again.

3. And Then There’s Steven Slater

After all the swearing, the chute-sliding and the beer-taking, it seems the “Steven Slater, Rogue Flight Attendant” saga will end with a bang, not a whimper. The Wall Street Journal informs us that our hero has elected to seek a plea bargain. Slater will undergo a mental health evaluation and possible alternative treatment or community service. If the deal goes through, Slater will not see jail time and the current charges against him will be reduced. All in all, a rather muted end to a tale that inspired bards to song, as of old. Look What the Web Dragged In: Google Terrifies Public With Mysterious Balls