Look What the Web Dragged In: The Return of Joaquin Phoenix and Other Curiosities

Our autumnal horn o’ plenty of web goodies begins today with the return of one Joaquin Phoenix to late night TV. Then we segue into somber, sad Matt Damon looking sad and being somber and seeing dead people and we finally end up with about 30 seconds or so of hell on earth. It isn’t quite the hero’s journey we learned about in college, but that’s how the internet crumbles–and burns.

1. Joaquin Phoenix in the Letterdome Again

Possibly severely-disturbed actor Joaquin Phoenix’s last appearance on CBS’s Late Show was for the ages: Phoenix rambled and mumbled his way into infamy while the famously unflappable David Letterman actually seemed a little flapped by the experience. Now that Phoenix and brother-in-law Casey Affleck are promoting their (mock?) documentary, I’m Still Here, Phoenix is heading back to the guest’s chair. Critics are still divided on the question of whether Affleck and Phoenix pulled off an elaborate hoax or not, so Phoenix’s next Late Show appearance could end up being just as festive as his first. 


2. Matt Damon Sees Dead People, Clint Eastwood Tells Him So

Eastwood and Damon have collaborated on a movie titled Hereafter, which is about Damon seeing the dead. The plot supposedly folds in the 2004 South Asian tsunamis and various wan, sad folks who just want Matt Damon to see the dead for them even though he is grimly clear on not wanting to at all, ever. The movie might be excellent, considering Clint Eastwood’s at the helm–whatever the case, the trailer is the talk of the web today.


3. Far Too Close To The Mouth of Hell

We don’t usually end this collection of viral samples on a somber note, but sometimes a clip goes viral that’s so surreal it seems willfully shortsighted to ignore it. That’s the case with Walter McCaffrey’s brief bit of footage from moments after a San Bruno, CA neighborhood began to burn from a massive gas pipeline explosion on Thursday, Sept. 9. McCaffrey’s footage caught him in a whirlwind of panic as he looked over the side of his balcony to see the rest of the neighborhood in flames. The bleeping on the video’s soundtrack only makes it clear McCaffrey reacted to the disaster in the most fundamentally human way imaginable, by swearing in fear and awe and telling other people to stay away.


Look What the Web Dragged In: The Return of Joaquin Phoenix and Other Curiosities