America’s Finest Satirical News Source is out today with their Midterm Election Guide and fortunately, the wrap-up includes a head-to-head comparison between Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino.
Among some of the gems:
Eyes:
- Paladino: Droopy-serious
- Cuomo: Twinkly-hopeful
Mother’s meatball recipe:
- Paladino: Better than any restaurant, my hand to God
- Cuomo: Friggin’ unbelievable
Top adviser:
- Paladino: Mr. Tire Iron, right here
- Cuomo: Father and former governor Mario Cuomo
Of course, this election season in New York politics, what with its lasagna-gate, bestiality emails, reporter fights and circus debates, satire seems to be outpaced by reality.