Newsweek’s Long-Shot Saviors

The U2 frontman and advocate for Africa—or whatever—would inject Newsweek with both star power and wimpy liberal earnestness. Plus, having served as a contributing columnist with The New York Times and a guest editor at Vanity Fair, the crooner is not wanting for journalistic experience.

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The former Alaska governor has a devout following, and Newsweek's treatment of Palin on its covers has been one of the few ways it's been able to generate attention since the 2008 presidential election. Newsweek could make a big splash by bringing Palin on board, become the key print publication for Tea Partiers, and draw in a ton of new readers who'd pick up a copy just to see what the heck had happened.

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The multimedia titan has got her hands full, but Fortune called Winfrey's O the most successful magazine startup in history, so she has the rare ability to make a glossy business perform.

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Is Al Gore Hillary circa 2000?

Like Bono, Al Gore cares about issues and he has some experience stewarding a media enterprise, serving as chairman of Current TV. His experience with media layoffs is a particularly attractive quality.

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The actor has a ton of literary proclivities, and he's been known to spin a good story into film, a tendency that could raise Newsweek's profile considerably. A weekly Franco centerfold couldn't hurt newsstand sales, either.

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The author of Moneyball, Liar's Poker and The Big Short has plenty of Wall Street reporting cred and a knack for finding the human side of complicated stories, and his purview ranges from the new Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman to the Greek sovereign-debt crisis.

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Yo Jon Meacham, I'm really happy for you. I'ma let you finish, but Kanye West would make one of the greatest Newsweek editors of all time. Plus, Kanye has the following to double Newsweek's Twitter presence.

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Currently a contributing editor at The Atlantic, Hirschorn edited Spin back when that was a thing to do. He's also an established reality-TV producer. Notches on his belt include "Flavor Flav Goes to High School" (in pre-production) and "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." Hirschorn's gift for finding an audience would be a boon to foundering Newsweek.

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The Onion's Publisher Emeritus is fictional and was born in 1868, but those are his only handicaps. An advocate of school uniforms as a means to combat juvenile crime, protectionist tariffs and lowered taxes to solve the social security crisis, Zweibel would give Newsweek some much-needed editorial direction.

Zweibel Memorial Foundation

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