Baby from Paranormal Activity 2, congratulations. Your film was number one at the box office, grossing $41 million compared to your estimated $3 million budget. This is great news for the producers, and the studio. But we don’t have to explain those numbers to you.
For you, baby, this can only mean good things. It’s always risky bringing a new element into an established franchise. If this sequel had tanked, you could count on never working in Hollywood again. You would have been out on your ass. You and your twin, who they kept around the set for when you get cranky.
Baby we only saw the trailer of your movie but we can tell you’re headed to stardom so a word of advice: invest wisely and stay away from the nightclub scene. Yes, the messed-up child star is a tired cliché, but as a baby you’ve got so much longer to screw it all up. And we’d hate to see that.
So use your fame wisely, baby. Maybe sink your gums into a quiet little indie project.