Scandal Report: The City’s Tabs Battle As Charlie Trashes The Plaza

GATECRASHER caught up with the SNL's "Weekend Update" anchor Seth Meyers, and he revealed that he still rides the subway everyday. Sort-of stars: they're sort-of just like us!

J. Lo's stepped into the vaulted position of judging American Idol, but PAGE SIX claims her manager is the one calling the shots when it comes to who stays and who goes. Is this, like, a thing? Is that how Ruben Studdard happened? Answers, please!

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THE NEW YORK POST had the goods on Charlie Sheen's one-man coke rager at The Plaza — the blizzard came to town, and they shoveled that powder all week. Who said it doesn't snow in October! And, wow, was it wonderful — the porn star playing the Eloise to his Bud Fox, Charlie's Angels references, etc. Basically, tabloid gold.

Beaten to the scene of that torrential wintry mix of a story, GATECRASHER settled for Napster founder Sean Parker, famously portrayed by Justin Timberlake in the still-inescapable Facebook move The Social Network. So, Sean, has Justin earned his acting chops? "It's not so bad being played by a sex symbol," Parker said. But when asked about JTim's music, he "made a disgusted face." C'mon, bro! "Cry Me A River" totally kills!

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Late on the scoop, the DAILY NEWS dives head-first into the Charlie Sheen debacle. Blood! Broken glass! Cocaine! Disregarded children! Acting like a jerk! Charged adjectives! Fun story, guys, but your sources didn't spill anything more than the Post got a day before.

The scrappy PAGE SIX team, however, kept stirring up trouble. They quoted Kelly Cutrone — PR director, small screen star, self-help author and spirit guide — on her former assistant Andrew Mukamal: "He cared more about being a TV personality than being my assistant." Kelly Cutrone didn't like to see this in a print newspaper! She took to her Twitter and called out gossip merchant Tara Palmeri: "Must have been a slow day over at Page Six," she said. Come on, Kelz! The whole paper can't be filled with washed-up TV stars and their crazed blood-smeared hotel room hooker-and-coke binges!

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Susan Sarandon, separated from Bull Durham co-star and fellow liberal crusader Tim Robbins, has taken up with her SPiN co-owner Jonathan Bricklin, and they are quite the item these days! PAGE SIX watched them canoodle in a booth at once-cool — and, let's be honest, still totally ridiculous — cabaret thing The Box. They wrote a story about it! Seriously, no one goes to The Box anymore. Points deducted, Page Six.

GATECRASHER was at the Hotel Gansevoort for Esquire's party for its Sexiest Woman Alive 2011 issue. The Sexiest Woman Alive is Minka Kelly, and somehow everyone managed to forget this — the partygoers instead fawned over her boyfriend, athlete Derek Jeter. This city does still care about losers, isn't that a surprise!


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It sort of pains us to laud them again, but the muckrackers at PAGE SIX have once again taken the gossip crown for the week. But how, you ask? Many of those stories were truly trash, even by Page Six standards! Well, the truth is the Post scored Charlie Sheen, the highest paid man on television, railing blow and freaking the fuck out at The Plaza in a hotel suite named for a famous character in kids' books. That wins it for them straight off. Get a scoop like that, GATECRASHER, and you're in the money.

Until next week, everyone! XOXO!

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