We just wished you a good morning last week, but that was in anticipation of your new show. Last night was your new show! And your horrifically pale face was plastered all over the papers this morning.
We felt uncomfortable calling you pale, since you already beat us to that joke some 100,000 times in your career. Last night you were at your self-effacing best. You opened saying you named the show Conan because you figured you’d “be harder to replace.”
It’s too early for ratings, but we anticipate them being good. Your new cable competitor Jon Stewart said, of the debut of your show, “Now I’ll never be able to watch me.”
Good luck you well-paid, lanky weirdo. Hey, that sounds like one of your characters!