Inept Crooks Steal Actual Dough, Inspire Terrible Punning

The owners of a Staten Island pizza parlor dropped some pretty stellar paranomasia on two would-be theives, the New York Post reports.

Court documents indicate that the following actually happened: Salvatore LaRosa and an accomplice spotted the men from Brothers Pizzeria walking out of their restaurant with a bag, followed them to their home, and held them up for everything they had. Naturally, these crooks thought, if two men leave a business establishment with a bag, it’s gonna be filled with the day’s pull – a decent amount of dough, perhaps.

But in a twist of fate that’s been a boon for wordplay snobs and headline writers, the bag actually contained real dough. Which makes sense, because the guys own a pizza parlor. Also, let’s explore the fact that the bag could have contained “cheese” and this petty crime would have the same level of quirkiness. Because “cheese” – a food item not uncommon at a pizza place – also means money, as Mitchiko Kakutani learned from Jay-Z. Slang – it’s crazy sometimes!

Anyway, the thieves didn’t grasp the irony of the situation and ran off with the dough, resulting in an arrest. Crime and PUN-ishment.

nfreeman at |@nfreeman1234

Inept Crooks Steal Actual Dough, Inspire Terrible Punning