Scandal Report: Brought To You By A Nose-Diving Snooki

Babies Babies Babies! The DAILY NEWS spills ink on Abby Manning, wife of Giants quarterback Eli, who will gift the world with another addition to the Manning football dynasty.

And for more on this developing "having babies" story, let's go to PAGE SIX, which reports on CNN anchor Kyra Phillips' pregnancy with "American Morning" co-anchor John Roberts. And she's having twins! Page Six has two babies, the Daily News has one. Game over.

GATECRASHER spent Halloween Saturday at the still-hot Don Hill's, weaving through the downtown-tinged kids in costumes. But then again Nur Khan's graffiti-smothered abode of debauchery can feel like Halloween any night of the year.... Moving along, John Mayer came with a friend dressed as Storm Troopers, and Gatecrasher wrote that they were "flashing their blasters 'like a couple of gleeful little boys.'" Not touching that one.

A tipster told PAGE SIX they saw Snooki trip and fall down the stairs at a nightclub in Vegas. If only we could have such things in .gif form! But, c'mon — this is pitifully easy target practice, Page Six.

Kanye West likes to wear Lanvin. He even jogs in it! It can't be too much of surprise, then, that PAGE SIX spotted 'Ye at the Accessories Council ACE awards decked head to toe in Lanvin. All Lanvin everything! Then Kanye went and talked to Lanvin artistic director Alber Elbaz. "They had a conversation about fashion," PAGE SIX wrote. Fashion? Well that's just crazy!

Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez was briefly accused of actually spending time with a real live girl before GATECRASHER assuaged all fears. "My serious girlfriend is the Jets, and I'm not really looking for a mistress," he said. Thanks for all that bro love, Gatecrasher.

Swarms of the faithful came from all corners of Manhattan to see them: Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. The ubiquitous sisters celebrated the opening of Dash NYC, their new clothing boutique, attracting enough clamoring fans that the NYPD had to come and regulate. Reporting from the End Of Days: The New York DAILY NEWS.

PAGE SIX chatted up walking ashtray Courtney Love at the WWD 100th Anniversary party. Love arrived after the party ended, and waxed poetic regarding her Wikipedia page: "I just want what awards I got... who I [bleeped] — on the record — or who said nice things about [bleep ing] me. And how many hits I've had. And that's it." All you need, really!

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Friday's GATECRASHER made dreams come true for the world's cartoon nerds when it revealed Brad Pitt's favorite animated show to be "Jonny Quest." We smell adaptation? Aziz Ansari as Hadji? Make this happen, people!

Lunch at the Four Seasons Friday was craaa-zee! PAGE SIX reports that while dining with former AIG head Maurice Greenberg, Henry Kissinger turned on the charm machine for socialite Esther Silber. Kissinger ran through all of his best tricks — red wine! cotton candy! — in his courting of Silber, even whispering "You are so beautiful" to her as he walked out. And Barbara Walters saw it all from her table across the restaurant. Oh, this city.

Stop the presses! It seems PAGE SIX's three-week hold on the dirt-digging crown has been shut to a halt by the tireless gossip sleuths at the DAILY NEWS. Despite closing out with that uproarious drama that unfolded over Kissinger's Four Seasons lunch — perhaps our favorite piece of this Scandal Report — Page Six just didn't have the vital content that Gatecrasher and the other Daily News gossip folks rolled out. And by vital content we mean the holy trinity of the Kardashians and John Mayer in a Storm Trooper outfit.

Until next week, everybody!

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