From Holiday Travel Tips, 11/22/2010
Travel Advice for Domesticated Turkeys: Stay away from humans.
Foods: Pies are permitted, but they are subject to additional screening if our officers see any anomalies. (Additional screening of pies does not include our officers tasting the pie, no matter what they tell you…)
Travel Advice for Meleagris Gallopavo: Stay away from humans.
Snow Globes: We are not in cahoots with the Heat Miser, but snow globes are not permitted in your carry-on luggage
Travel Advice for Tofu Turkeys: You are not real.
Travel Advice for Pilgrims: Leave your muskets at home and refrain from wearing clothing with large buckles.
Doesn’t seeing this human side of the TSA make the prospect of being scanned and frisked much more agreeable?