What Twitter Taught Us: Nobody Puts Steve Martin in a Corner

THE TWEET: #4grammyshellyeah #neil #emi #directmanagement #CAA #WCM #mom/dad #katycats #fireworks #U #kittykrustymorrissey #MYBABY! #anythingIleftout

WHAT WE LEARNED: The thrill of Grammy nomination announcements may have gone to Katy Perry's head, but this spastic and splashily incoherant flurry of hashtags does make one thing clear: You're excited, Katy. You might win a meaningless statue, we get it! But we just don't think #kittykrustymorrissey is going to catch on.

THE TWEET: @TGIFridays has a twitter page? This is genius! U guys have the illest bartenders! My PA used to be 1, now she's busy makin me drinks, lol

WHAT WE LEARNED: A lot of revelation here. First, Rihanna endorsing the cocktails at TGI Fridays can only be a boon for business. One Silver Mercedes, please! Second, we are currently applying for a job at Friday's on the off-chance that Rihanna will come along looking for another bartender, and we can jet around the world with her, shaker and mixology prowess in hand. And third, TGIFriday's has a Twitter! Well, of course it does, Rihanna. This world.

THE TWEET: So the 92nd St. Y has determined that the course of its interviews should be dictated in real time by its audience's emails. Artists beware.

WHAT WE LEARNED: The tried and true tradition of having people drone on about boring stuff before an audience pretending to be interested took a big hit this week! When Steve Martin's talk with Times scribe at the 92nd Street Y dipped into sub-Parenthood levels of non-hilarity, the masses revolted. Hey, funny people! We like you better when you're funny!

THE TWEET: @ladygaga is dead. I will sacrifice my digital life to fight HIV/AIDS. No more tweets little monsters until we #BUYLIFE http://bit.ly/bQjboo

WHAT WE LEARNED: Gaga and some of her celeb friends cut themselves off from their social networks Wednesday, in an effort to raise money for AIDS relief. Unfortunately, it seems people would rather avoid 140-character insights into the id of Ryan Seacrest than donate any money - it's been three days and they've only raised $180,000 of the $1 million needed to get the participants back on Twitter. With that goal seemingly far-off, check out our list to see who breaks the embargo first.

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THE TWEET: I'm almost done with my new album and it will be coming out this March.  I AM IN L-O-V-E WITH IT!

WHAT WE LEARNED: New Britney!

THE TWEET: "Happy Thanksgiving and a crazy Black Friday to all of you and yours." - Bill Condon http://twitpic.com/3a1a09

WHAT WE LEARNED: As a little Turkey Day treat, Bill Condon, director of the impending pandemonium-inspiring Twilight film Breaking Dawn, surprised fans with a single tantalizing still. Given that this is the one where Edward and Bella have tons of wild vampire sex, there's a lot going on here: the hand is clearly Bella's and her fist is clenched slightly—and just slightly—around a pinch of feathers; the ripped-apart pillows probably indicate that there's some serious action going on here, as Edward has at this point taken to biting pillows mid-coitus instead of Bella's neck; and there's all that pink. Pink! This new Twilight film is going to be pretty racy!

THE TWEET: [Fixed!] I would watch Glee if the title were ironic and it was about depressed people who sat around all day. Like Twitter.

WHAT WE LEARNED: It seems writer Colson Whitehead is no "Gleek," as they say. Possibly not a Twitter junky either! Oh well, can't win them all.

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