By Deborah Jacobs and Marie Tasy
For decades, Trenton has played host to an emotional struggle over the rights of adult adoptees to access the original birth certificates that bear the names of their birth parents.
On one side, you have adult adoptees who understandably want information about where they came from, and on the other side you have the interests of those birth parents who wish to remain anonymous, a right which New Jersey law has recognized and protected since 1940. We think it’s important that the legislature protect the interests of all parties involved in the adoption. Although we may seem like “strange bedfellows,” the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey, New Jersey Right to Life, as well as the Catholic Conference, the New Jersey State Bar Association and the Lutheran Office of Governmental Ministry have worked closely together on this issue for years.
The plight of the adult adoptees is easy to sympathize with; they want to better understand their histories, feel that they are being robbed of their rights and maintain that the original birth certificates and the information it contains, including the names of their parents, belong to them. They make a compelling case.
But there is another important stakeholder that our legislators don’t have the benefit of hearing from personally: birth mothers who want to retain their privacy. These constituents cannot advocate for their interests because breaking their silence will jeopardize the very right they seek to preserve: privacy.
Like their offspring, many birth parents have also taken painful journeys with respect to the circumstances surrounding their pregnancies and decision to place a child for adoption. We don’t presume to know the trauma they experience and endured – whether victims of rape, incest, social pressure or something else – but believe that these birth parents deserve a say about whether their pasts will be revisited through contact from a child they gave up long ago..
In fact, the two parties need not be at odds; a fair and balanced compromise is possible, and has recently been introduced by Assemblywoman Joan Quigley and Senator Raymond J. Lesniak in the form of A-3672 and S-2586, which provide for a confidential intermediary system similar to ones used in about a dozen states including Washington, Illinois, Michigan and Maryland.
A confidential intermediary system will help many adoptees get the information they want, and preserve anonymity for those birth parents who do not want contact. Under the proposed bills, a person would be able to contact the state to request an original birth certificate, at which point a trained confidential intermediary would diligently search for the birth parents and request consent for release of the original birth certificate. If a birth parent declines contact, then the state will continue to preserve that privacy but request medical history from the birth parent. If after a diligent search a birth parent cannot be located or is found deceased, then the original birth certificate is released to the adult adoptee.
The bill also opens an avenue for obtaining medical history information from birth parents; even if birth parents decline contact, they are asked for an updated medical history. It’s important to remember that based on privacy rights and practicalities, you cannot require someone to provide medical information, but this opens an avenue for many to learn more about their genetic or medical disposition.
The bill also paves the way for more successful reunions by ensuring that birth parents know in advance and consent to contact, and aren’t simply the recipients of an unexpected or unwanted knock at the door. Adoption agencies have experienced the most successful reunions through a planned, non-confrontational approach.
This compromise might not give the adult adoptees everything they want, but after 25 years of stalemate on this issue, we hope that they will see fit to support this bill. Since they maintain that most birth mothers want contact, it should meet most adult adoptees needs. And, at the same time it provides ongoing privacy protection for the birth parents who need and desire it.
It’s a just and fair compromise that our elected officials in Trenton should support. It’s not just about getting it done, but getting it done right.
Deborah Jacobs is executive director for the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey and Marie Tasy is executive director of New Jersey Right to Life.
