For the Kate Middleton Completist: Bus Tours to Scour Queen-To-Be's Hometown

Kate Middleton: How did she do it? What happenstance of childhood moments conspired to bring about this prince-bagging commoner? Was there a specific element, a key to this alluring concoction of shiny smile and shiny hair? Perhaps the hamlet that bore her — could that be the defining reason for Kate’s magnetism, a look and grace that’s arrested the prince, the country, and the world?

Adrian Morton sure hopes so. He’s set up shop in the quaint Bucklebury, England, the wealthy and otherwise boring English town that will be known forever for its role in bringing up baby Kate, the future Queen of England. Whatever could Adrian Morton be doing? Well, he’s making dreams come true, people — he’s inviting Waity Katie fans the world over dive headfirst into her adolescence with a bus tour that will hit up all the essential stops on the “Kate Was Here” parade.

And, as the April 29th wedding approaches, people will come, and they will come from America.

“There seems to be more interest in the States than in our own country,” said Morton, who has long-standing ties to Bucklebury. “I’ve been contacted by an American tour operator about possible tours. You can see the places where she went to school and where she was christened. And locals are interested too.”

The bus tour idea came from Morton’s twin brother, who lives in the United States and has seen an explosion of public fascination with the royal wedding.

Public fascination with this wedding? From the United States? No idea what you’re talking about, guy! No obsession here or anything!

All the evidence indicates that this will be a highly lucrative business model. Kate’s mysterious seduction techniques invite stalker-grade investigations into her being — “why her over me?” type stuff — and the flurry of phone calls to local businesses confirm this fact.

Simon Kelly, owner of the popular Bladebone pub and restaurant near the Middleton family’s home, said most locals are amused rather than upset by the attention.

“It’s good because it will bring more trade in, but bad in the sense that people here like a quiet life, that’s why they’re here,” he said.

The pub’s phone rang as he spoke — a TV news reporter asking if Middleton would be at the pub that weekend.

Calling a random pub to see if the bartender knows where Kate is? Seems perfectly rational to us.

nfreeman [at] | @nfreeman1234

Click for Scandal Report: And Then The Model At Diddy’s Party Burst Into Flames

For the Kate Middleton Completist: Bus Tours to Scour Queen-To-Be's Hometown