Janaury 5th, 2011: And we enter Earth Two––a parallel universe where Chris Christie is the CEO of a major corporation.
The Republicans always say that we should be running government more like a business. A business, they say should be run as a for-profit enterprise answerable to investors whose only goal is to make money. Where every dime and every dollar is accounted for, and all employees and management are held to the highest standards of accountability and responsibility and credibility.
And so we travel to Earth Two—a parallel universe where Chris Christie is the CEO of a major corporation––NJ Industries––a company whose principal place of business is located in a small Northeastern state just off the Atlantic, and who has factories and offices all over the state employing thousands of workers.
(Just for my own amusement, Earth Two is very much like Earth One with a couple of minor exceptions: number one–Al Gore was elected President of the United States in the year 2000 and just completed his second term at the end of 2008; the Yankees went on to beat the Boston Red Sox in four straight games in 2004 and then went on to win the World Series that year; and from 1968 to 1974 I played small forward for the New York Knicks, coming off the bench to substitute for Bill Bradley periodically. Oh, also I taught Phil Jackson all he knows about basketball those years. But I digress…).
As it turns out CEO Chris Christie of NJ Industries decided to take a vacation with his family to DisneyWorld––while a snow blizzard crisis was taking place that closed all the NJ Industries around the state, putting thousands of workers out of work. Additionally, the Deputy-CEO Kim Guadagno arranged to be out of the country with her family in Mexico––approved by CEO Christie.
After Christie returned from DisneyWorld, he was called before the NJ Industries Board of Directors, led by Board President Steve Sweeney who was left in charge of NJ Industries during Christie’s vacation.
Board President Sweeney: ” Sir, why didn’t you return to help deal with the blizzard crisis at NJ Industries once you knew about it?”
CEO Christie: “I would have been doing the same thing here as I would have been there,” Christie said, “I would have been in a room someplace. I would not have been out, like, driving a plow.”*
Board President Sweeney: “Sir, no one is suggesting that you should be out there plowing the snow yourself…but what about all the factory workers who couldn’t get to their jobs…”.
CEO Christie: “If someone is snowed into their house, that’s not our responsibility, — I know who they are and they should buck up and take responsibility for the fact that they didn’t do their job.”*
Board President Sweeney: “Sir, you are the CEO of NJ Industries and you’re elected for your leadership skills. You left me in charge and never even called me from Florida to let me know what was going on.”
CEO Christie: “…You–Sweeney and I consulted on all of the significant decisions that needed to be made during the period of my time out of the state…we never once disagreed on what needed to be done.”*
Board President Sweeney: “I never spoke to you the entire time…you and I never spoke until he got back.”
CEO Christie: “You can decide to be a showboat, hop on a plow and act like you’re doing something or you can actually put leadership skills to work that put competent people with good character in important positions,”.*
Board President Sweeney: “As CEO, don’t you think you have a responsibility to our investors and employees?”
CEO Christie: “I know what my responsibility is. And I know my responsibility as a father. I wanted to be there with my kids… I had a great five days with my children. I promised that….my wife warned me to not ‘even think about’ canceling the trip.”*
Board President Sweeney: “Any final thoughts on this issue, sir?”
CEO Christie: “All of the Monday morning quarterbacking and the harping and complaining should just take a breath”.*
Board President Sweeney: “Thank you, sir. We will be meeting with the Board of Directors, and let you know if your actions in the crisis constitute a need to replace you permanently— applying standard business principles in a capitalist society.”
And CEO Christie on Earth Two signed a letter seeking money from the Federal Emergency Management Agency to help cover cleanup costs related to the storm—even though he opposed the bailouts from the federal government two other industries during the Earth Two recession.
* Governor Christie’s actual answers to questions posed by the press regarding his absence from New Jersey—on Earth One.
